I don’t know what else to put this under. I’m so disappointed in myself. I started MAT (Methadone) treatment yesterday morning and was so dope sick by time I got home (my first dose wasn’t high enough, only 20mg)that I had to call my recovery coach and tell him I didn’t have a choice but to use to stop the sickness.. he told me to do the bare minimum til morning. Well, once I got my body un “sick” I crashed. And I mean crashed to the point I missed making it to dosing this morning because I slept through that many hours. So, now another day of using to avoid being sick until tomorrow morning… I feel like I’m self sabotaging because I was pretty much forced into Methadone treatment when I wanted to do Suboxone instead but no one would help me get on it because they were afraid of throwing me into PWD (precipitated withdrawal) so now I’m stuck in a treatment I didn’t want and I’m already failing at… I’m disgusted with myself.
Nah don’t say your failing , this feeling your feeling does suck … but it’ll eventually get better … day by day , just keep your head held high … things will get better , stay strong
Girrrl I’ve been on methadone 3 years now n it was the best decision I ever made I was on subs for years before I went back then I finally said enough is enough when I couldn’t take a pee by myself in the hospital for 3 days after my heart attack an flat lined… it took me a few months even while on methadone until we got my dose right
I even lost my baby brother of only 29, 14days before his 30th bday an still didn’t slip
You’re not failing, you’re adjusting. It takes some time, just trust the process. I used to be a therapist at a clinic, so it’s an adjustment. Stay strong in it and don’t stop. If you need to chat or any guidance, feel free to reach out