I have collected a lot of white chips, and I’m starting to feel tired of failing. I’m getting resentful at AA for it, even though I know it’s all on me. I’m not sure what to do now.
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Don’t give up. Lots of us tried over and over before it clicked.
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Getting and staying sober is very difficult. If it were easy, it wouldn’t be called addiction. Don’t give up. There’s a reason why we say “keep coming back”
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Hey Tré! First off, many of us have been there (including me, more than once). You are not alone and your journey is just beginning, so don’t give up.
It took me years and several white chip collections before I hit the point where I said, “This sucks, I’m done.” AA was super helpful for me as well as telling everyone around me I quit. Once I did told everyone around me, I knew I had to hold myself accountable.
Don’t hesitate to drop me a line any time. I’m still newer in my journey, but if there is anything I know too much about it is collecting multiple white chips. I’ve now been sober for longest time ever since my first drink. Many more amazing days to come.
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Hey man, what are you doing, as far as AA goes? A couple meetings a week? A sponsor? What's going on?
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Thanks
I try to make a meeting everyday but I haven’t went the past 2 days. I went today but walked out during How it Works. I do have a sponsor I’m supposed to working my 4th step. I drank 3 days ago and I haven’t told my sponsor because it’s like the 3rd time since he’s been sponsoring me.
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All of us at one point has been where you are. It took me several times collecting new comer chips before it clicked. I recommend try going to a meeting everyday. Doesn’t have to be the same one. Just go. Collect phone numbers and call people when you are feeling irritable.
Some people just do not like AA. I tried throughout my early sobriety, but found my own path that does not include AA. There are other programs, smart recovery, road to welbriety, and a ton of videos about what others have done to be successful. As long as you're trying you're not failing
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You're not failing because you're trying!! Remember that when you feel weak! It takes courage just to TRY!! EVERY SINGLE DAY is another opportunity to try again! Keep in mind that this is not anyone else's journey that you're on. It's yours and yours alone. So, recover the best way you know how! If that includes AA great, but if it doesn't that's great too!! Different strokes for different folks. What works for the next person might not necessarily be what works best for you. Keep going til you find the best way for you to be successful in your recovery! I'm cheering you on and I'm always here if you need anything!
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Chips are not meant to be Scarlett Letters or Olympic Medals. I personally don’t track my time and let my home group do it (or my sponsor and friends who mock me for a “one day at a time” mindset) The journey is yours and yours alone. You can’t fail if you are here reaching out and going to meetings. In my experience I had to start living life with help from others. Keep plugging away. Failure is death by booze or a pill.
I will say give up, meaning surrender, if you truly are an alcoholic chances are you are not going to stay sober on your own power as others have mentioned before, in my experience I didn’t get sober until I stop trying to stay sober and did something different, which was to follow the direction of my sponsor and just go through all 12 steps, I still do that today after 20 years sober except today I get to do it I don’t have to that’s the difference
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How long have you been going to meetings? Do you go to speaker meetings or just discussion meetings? Do you go to meetings in your age group only or do you mix it up? Do you and your sponsor click?
If I relapsed tomorrow, my current sponsor would recommend I work with someone new. Not because of frustration or disappointment, but in the hopes that someone else could make a connection that he couldn’t.
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Try open up how it works, first part of chapter 5, change it in your mind to say why is it not working and ask yourself the question with rigorous honesty if your doing the things it says in question form. I was suggested to do this in my early sobriety by an old timer and still do to this day. Nearly every line of how it works can be changed to a question. When I’m struggling I always find what I’m not doing and can correct it quick
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Hang in there, dude! You have a great support network right here! Fight the good fight, my friend!
Don’t give up. They say that is the most important& hardest chip ! The fact you keep coming back speaks volumes in itself. Try something different this time around. Take all the suggestions. Good luck my friend !
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Your sponsor will understand. Stay honest. Remember your sponsor went through this before.
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I have been there. It took me several tries and several treatment stints to get sober. Keep trying dont give in to your disease! For most alcoholic/addicts hope is what keeps us alive and fighting. Like some said, there are lots of options other than AA and maybe getting a new sponsor will reignite your commitment.
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Thanks everyone who responded means the world to me 