I just finished a family therapy session. In my recovery, it can be a struggle to remember in the heat of the moment to give family the space they need to process just as I was given by many and those who share like minds and similar stories. I struggle with the lack of them understanding why I lived the way I lived, made the choices I made in my active addiction, and why I am the way I am now. It can feel like an attack. I was manipulative, a liar, cunning, baffling, and deceitful. Sometimes it's best to just sit and listen. Are we a trash can or a tool box? Sometimes and ear to hear is the best medicine. I am reminded they suffer the consequences of my actions as well. I drop my pride, practice humility, and give myself compassion. It is a process.
Amen definitely not easy
So well put! Keep going!
Thanks so much!
Thanks for sharing!! You are not alone. I felt every word of your post. I have, and still am, going thru the “process” of repairing the family wreckage. It took me some time to just sit and listen. I had to learn to acknowledge their feelings, and take responsibility for my behaviors. I’m grateful to have found AA, a sponsor, the 12 steps, meetings, fellowship, Loosid, and many other tools to help me get thru this. I’m a total disaster when I don’t ask for help.
I struggled most of my life asking for help. I told myself a lie that asking for help meant that I was not good enough. Building such a strong community, support, and connection with my higher power to be able to confide in and be open and vulnerable keeps me grounded and has been such a strength to my life.