For beeing given forgiveness and teh chance to prove -thru my actions- that my rebuild is sincere and on solid footing. In past without program my white knuckling would lead to collapse over and over. I never felt remotely safe in those periods of absenence. Always back head was the impending implosion.
Now I dont think that far ahead. Working hard to stay calm and quiet mentally so I can enjoy beeing around the people who never gave up on me.
