Fear is here again. The kind that won’t go away even for a second. Not the kind of fear you have when seeing a ghost. That I can handle and it passes through. No the really dark fear that starts as anxiety and then riddles your every part of you. I’m so scared all of a sudden that I can’t do it. My emotions are so numb that I don’t care. I’m not speaking about harming myself anymore, like I used to all my life. I’m talking about the life I have built since I became sober almost 5years ago. I’m having a hard time getting through the days, functioning and caring. It’s too much to write my story but I have a lot to loose.
Amazing that I can’t even imagine myself wanting a drink thank God. I am blessed. I am grateful. I am strong. I will do the next best thing until I can feel again.
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Megan you absolutely nailed how some days this fear creeps up as if we are on our first week of sobriety! To me it doesn’t go away but it gets better! Just can relate to you so much through your post. I’m working on year 5
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