Feeling a bit stressed.. I’m separated from my ex but our “domesticated” anniversary is the 2nd coming up and it’s got me feeling so many ways. I started to smoke black and milds just get have a feel of something but I’m just all over about this…. We haven’t communicated in over a month. I did a substance abuse program and now doing ptsd so I’m working on me but dang I want to reach out to her…. It’s a fight. Me vs me…
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I went through substance and PTSD/CBT treatment as well. And also randomly started smoking (quit now).
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Anniversaries are hard! Stay strong and give yourself grace.
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I started smoking again in rehab. After my wife and I separated I fought the urge to reach out, sometimes I was successful, sometimes not. About a week before our anniversary I got a fb notification that she removed our anniversary. I was devastated. Like you, I started focusing on my self. I learned a lot about who I am and where I was. I also learned about our relationship and how imperfect it really was. I truly believe I was doing my best and our relationship was great. They say hind sight is 20/20. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. Stay strong. I know not everyone believes what I believe but when I went over everything in my head again and again and had a rollercoaster of emotions, I would stop myself and say a simple prayer. I pray for her peace and happiness with or without me. No, I didn’t always mean it but it helped. That is my experience.
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Thanks everyone 
