I have 3 social events this weekend and I’m really excited to attend them and not drink, however breaking the news to people that I’m not drinking anymore gives me a lot of anxiety. This will be the first time hanging out with anyone besides my husband and close family since I’ve made the decision to be sober. I’m afraid of judgement, embarrassment, and pressure to drink from others. I feel like I need to prove that I’m still fun without it. Any words of encouragement are helpful!
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I’m in the same boat. I’m nearly a month sober. I have birthday party for an old friend that I haven’t seen in a while on Friday. I would say come armed with multiple NA drinks. Something to have in your hand. Enjoy the food. Have a exit plan. Say you’re driving if they ask why you aren’t drinking or bend the truth and say you’re on a cleanse? Maybe show up late and leave early? I could use some advice too…
Congrats on being almost a month sober! The NA drinks is a great idea because sometimes it really is just keeping the hand busy while standing around. The cleanse excuse is good, I’ve also considered just telling people I don’t like my relationship with alcohol recently to soften the blow since the word “alcoholic” has such a stigma and can be a scary word. I figure if they can’t understand and want me to still drink then they’re not real friends, they’re just party friends and not good for me. Thank you for the support and I’m here for you too if you need to talk as it gets closer or anytime!
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I say, “I stopped for my health, and I feel a ton better.” If they have a problem with me feeling better and being healthy, that’s probably not a good thing.
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Your sobriety is your own, who and when you talk about it is solely up to you. My sponsor told me early on, those that matter will not mind, those that mind don’t matter… have an escape, set your boundaries and stick to them, and most of all, allow yourself to have fun. Most of the time, If you don’t make a big deal out of not drinking, others won’t either. Have fun and good luck!
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My AF friend who is part of my support system and I have known since kindergarten makes a mocktail of seltzer lime and jalapeño. She will ask for it at bars. Or she will bring her own. Sometimes just holding a beverage is part of the desire. She has definitely gotten away with quietly being alcohol free.
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Someone mentioned an escape earlier. I went home a little bit ago after being away for 7 months at an inpatient program.
Hung out with some people and as soon as I felt awkward I left the whole situation to avoid even letting the temptation of trying to fit in, creep up on me.
Just leave. Don't explain anything. Don't say goodbye.
I definitely think small doses are necessary.
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The real flex is to not say anything about it just cruise through and be sober and find things there to have fun with and make it enjoyable for yourself - builds confidence as well then for the next time around at a party or something - I was at a big party recently feeling crazy cravings and felt like an outsider not drinking so I cleaned the whole entire house for them during the party to keep busy but I made it fun and it felt like an act of service weirdly but made it so I didn’t miss out on anything kept my mind off the booze and kept me from going to home to a lonely quiet house
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Just tell them ‘I don’t drink no more’. If they press you you can say you’re doing it for health reasons or medication your taking now can’t be taken with alcohol and you need the benefits of the meds over the booze
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Yeah I think this will be the test of true friendships. Thank you!
That sounds so good. I definitely think I’m going to become friends with seltzer water throughout this
That’s so awesome I love that story lol I’m sure they were super grateful for that too. Keeping busy definitely helps and I guess it doesn’t have to just be in the social aspect so thank you!
Word! 
Me tooo!