My sobriety is at jeopardy because of my live in boyfriend… I have been trying so hard to be sober and every Sunday he goes out … he works for 3 hours and is out for 10 hours ?!?? He just got in at 5:00 am. He drinks a couple days a week and Sunday is one of them and I can’t deal with this !!! He wants me to be sober but not himself ?!?! How does this work ? I am trying but losing this fight …
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Take care of you…whatever that entails.
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Thank you …
I just dont know what that is ? Thanks for the support
You can not control anyone else’s actions. Sobriety is not fair. Life isn’t fair. Have you sat down and expressed the frustration and feelings to him? Those conversations need to happen. If you hold in these feelings resentments will form and that is a road to relapse. Also boundaries need to be set, by both of you, and respected. He doesn’t need to understand how hard being sober is, how could he? He is not alcoholic, but living with you, respect should be there in the least. There is the the possibility that the relationship may fall apart. It happens to many when one gets sober and the other doesn’t respect the struggles. I wish you luck.
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Thank you Tim … yes the conversations have been had and boundaries have been set but nada and yes he is an alcoholic that makes life more difficult 
he is a binge drinker and he thinks that this is ok because he does not do it everyday
Get the fück out. You're dealing with someone who doesn't respect you. This isn't about your preference in toothpaste or pizza toppings. This is your life. Get out, be sad for a little bit, be sober, move on, get happy and healthy. Hard road but worth the trip.
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You can't control someone else but you can establish your personal limits and boundaries.its a choice you make if you allow someone to continually cross them.that is how we allow their choices to affect us.stand with pride and support your boundaries and limits.there's no need to even be angry for their choice to push your limits.its a choice they are making.don't allow their choices control your emotions!!!
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Thank you for all the advice
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Might have to make some tough decisions
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Well then you need to make a decision. Stay and live in the codependency, or save yourself. If he is not respecting you, or the boundaries set, it is time to start taking care of you alone. Getting and staying sober is hard enough…. Y out don’t need the other cr@p getting in the way.
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THIS IS THE CORRECT ADVICE
You're not married to this man and I know you're not going to want to hear this because I didn't want to hear it either when I was in that position. This man is only your boyfriend and right now a boyfriend is the last thing that you need to get sober.
You need to do whatever it takes to separate yourself from this person. Find a place to live or go back to live with your parents. Do whatever it takes. Right now you need to take care of you and get this all figured out. I can tell you at age 63 I have a boatload of experience with making the wrong decision regarding relationships.
I got with two different women of two different times of my life while I was out there qualifying and they were the most miserable years of my life because they were relationships that I had no business being in to begin with. People tried to warn me but I wasn't listening either.
After you've been sober for one year you will be looking through a whole different set of lenses and you will be glad that you made that decision, I promise.
First things first!
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