Just broke up with my girlfriend after almost 7 years of being together. I was never able to give what she needed and/or wanted out of the relationship so now we are separated. She wants to be happy and I get that, I do. I’m just feeling depressed and scared of my future without her in it, however, she wants me in her life but only as friends. I’ve had fleeting thoughts of breaking my almost 5 years of sobriety from drinking alcohol but I’d hate myself more if I broke that now. It’s time for me to live life on my own and get connected with who I am as a person, I’ve never truly been on my own before, so this is all just truly terrifying.
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Relationship endings are never easy but I see you’re looking at the bright side of things…. Like finding yourself … good luck Margaret 
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Thank you Luis. 
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If you relapse the problem will still be there and add additional guilt! I think you said it, sometimes it’s better to work on yourself first, growing emotionally to be in a better position for a future relationship. Good luck!
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Thank you Michael.
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Out of a 7 year relationship/marriage as of December...I know the pain and it sux! What Micheal said was spot on...Luis also in find yourself! I'm taking my own advice there and will not...no matter how seemingly perfect a man seems to be...get into another relationship for quite awhile...I'm not ready
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I don’t blame you Sonia. I may be in complete denial considering it’s only the 2nd day after the break up but I don’t want anyone else. I wasn’t great to my girlfriend in our relationship so obviously I have a ton to work on and I just can’t see myself with anyone else, ever.
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It's ok to be sad! It's ok to cry!!! 🫂 sending you a big hug...I didn't cry through the whole process of a divorce...was too busy drinking/drowning my broken heart...I'm only 18 days sober again and have been crying like crazy smdays...it's ok to feel
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That’s something that’s been hard for me all of my life, is allowing myself to feel. Although tears were pouring out of me yesterday upon the news, I’ve never cried over anything or anyone as much as I have over this breakup, over her. Now I’m mad and angry at myself for not being a better partner, because ultimately I’m the reason that things did not work out. But yes, I hear you, I need to feel, I’m going to do that to the best of my abilities. Thank you and congratulations on your 18 days, I’m proud of you Sonia.
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The way I see it...it's never just one person's fault in a relationship! Ultimately it's no ones "fault" ...2 people can love each other and the timing isn't right...of anything is really meant to be...it will... proud of you for staying sober!
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I know you’re right, it’s just going to take me time to accept it as such. Thank you Sonia.
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I am in the same boat. This being alone stuff is hard. It’s not worth your sobriety because it’ll all still be there when that buzz is gone and more often than not it’s even worse. If you need an ear I am here. Hugs 
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Thank you Kate, much appreciated. Right now, I’m just doing my best to take it day by day and dealing with the reality of the situation as best as I can. I try to distract myself but it’s hard, it really is.
I know it is. I like what you said about taking some time to find out who you are. I’m doing that as well. I have never been alone…it’s time to figure out who Kate is. We got this!!
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You’re right Kate, you’re right. Thank you!
Proud of you for feeling your feelings you're one tough mother 
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Thank you Charlie.
Great responses everyone. After 4years now out of a 15 year relationship i will be applying your advice as well. But from what i read know that i feel that you do have a good sense of “self” (4+ years right on). Dont give them the satisfaction and change that. You sobered for you, not them. I feel they are the ones that need to find themselves and dont be surprised if as “friends” you cant and wont spend your valuable time with them, their decisions, and their consequences. PS be sure to give it time so you dont bring the old issues into your new relationships. I hate to be honest, but i had to learn that the hard way. Big hugs to all of you and thank you all biggg hugggs!!!
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Breakups are tough AF. I wish I had better advice - you know the platitudes. Time, etc. I’m optimistic for you though - you chose to air some of this out instead of retreating inside yourself. Commendable.
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Thank you Philip, I appreciate you dishing out these hard truths and you’re right about it being my decision to quit drinking. It’s something that I am very proud of and never want to give up for any reason whatsoever.
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