Feeling left out

I went to dinner yesterday with a huge group of women that I used to hang out with. Not all partiers, some pregnant even, but I still felt like I could barely speak or loosen up without a drink. I feel like I was silent and awkward, and when it was over a handful of girls I’m closest to invited me to go out to the bars with them. I wanted to so badly, but since my alcoholic-brain has been active lately and I don’t feel it would be a great environment, I declined.
I’m so sad, because I’ve missed my friends (out of state) a lot. I wish I was naturally more social and not petrified of the sound of my own voice. That would make things 1000x easier.
Being brutally shy AND sober is freakin hard, man….

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I definitely understand, I am the same way!!! You did the right thing for your sobriety!!! Wish I had some great advice but unfortunately I don’t!

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Well it’s good to know I’m not alone in it! It’s so dang hard to speak up and socialize sometimes :grimacing:

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You made such a wise decision Kate. When the social situation becomes more about drinking/partying than socializing, that’s when I get very squirrelly. Holiday parties like July 4th, Labor Day, Memorial Day…when they turn into drunkfests, I have to excuse myself. It sucks, but we just have to learn to accept it. There was a time I would just suck it up. I did that for years. The truth is I hated it. I ain’t going to do that to myself anymore! We have each other now to vent to when this happens. I’m grateful to have all of my recovering brothers and sisters. We are not alone anymore. You’re still Kate The Great :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

Hey, its awesome that you made a good decision in the middle of all of that. :+1:

Just wanted to say that you freaking rock for having that insight and self awareness! This is awesome. It does suck but it gets easier but what would've really sucked is if you did go out and caved. Congrats!

Wow! I say that because you totally did the right thing you should be proud of yourself. I have been in those situations several times in my first two years of sobriety they were very uncomfortable - but somehow I stayed sober. I felt like such a stick in the mud. Some of the people I was with even made fun of me. But I need to get out there and live, be social, and have a good time. It’s taken practice to be comfortable in those situations but I found my balance, how to do it gracefully, and keep my sobriety. If I have a good reason for being in those situations, I think of it as my job to show up and bring my A game and to contribute in a cheerful way to social engagement. Red Bull and coffee helps :slight_smile:

Hang in there Kate. I can relate. I've been sober a little longer, but I'm breaking out of a shell I've been in over 40 years. My confidence, self esteem and social skills have improved drastically.

Some of us have a harder time than others admittedly I have hard times at unexpected times and I don't even realize they're going to come and then I'm like this is really hard for me I went bowling with some people and I was fine for a while