I'm 137 days in and feeling very stable with my sobriety and not wanting to drink. However, I've always had difficulty making friends and am also dealing with a breakup. Any suggestions on sober activities, places to meet people, or anyone looking for sober friends in rhode island?
12 Likes
I love your hair 
For me in early sobriety I went to live meetings everyday and night. I asked for phone numbers and gave my number to people I admired. Also I invited people to go hiking, movies, lunch, coffee etc. Also I accepted invites to all kinds of activities too. Even when I felt awkward. Got out of my isolation and comfort zone. My disease wants me alone and miserable. Now I enjoy my solitude and rarely get lonely. My closest friends are soberš
Try doing what I did, I bet you wonāt be lonely 
1 Like
I have a very hectic work schedule that usually makes me miss in person meetings. I have a wonderful online homegroup but, it's online. I try to go to in person meetings whenever I can but in my area it's mostly older people and while I gain a lot from their experience there's not much in the way of common interests
The pink? Thank you it was my go to but they don't make that brand anymore
Yea I really love that color
Do you play any sports? Good way to spend time with people not drinking. I got back into tennis when I quit and picked up pickleball. It's fun. And you can go to a public park and play with whomever is there like pickup basketball.
Kayaking and roller skating. I used to swim
1 Like
Local gyms, YMCA, or the like usually have classes /programs that are super healthy and a place to meet other sober folks. From amateur kickboxing to a kayaking course in the Y pool. I did that at first. Also, just go out of my way to do things with sober family and friends , which is sadly a much smaller group than the family and friends that drink but you gotta work with what you got. I've cut off about anyone that habitually drinks at this point. Those courses I mentioned are usually once or twice a week and works around a work schedule usually....good luck!
3 Likes
Good to hear.
This is about the most common problem I've seen in sobriety, both personally and the community as a whole. We've all surrounded ourselves with drinkers/users and had adapted our lifestyles around activities, people , places, things that involve drinking/using. It is a rough realization when we realize the vast majority of our lives revolved around our addiction. And in cutting off a lot of people, places, activities that were tailor-made toward our addiction, we inevitably get pretty lonely ( I've cut off dam near every friend at this point). Relearning how to do "sober" activities, places, things is a major obstacle for most of us....just know you are definitely not alone in that.
2 Likes
Your not alone !! loneliness can be the worse feeling. what kind of hobbies do you like ? maybe sign up for a class you like- art class, yoga, kickball team even meeting someone at a place where you have a common interest is always pretty easy. AA meetings as always are a great place to meet sober people at!
If you even need a sober friend i gotchu feel free to DM me
(ć£'-')ā®=ĶĶĶĶ 
(ļ¼¾ļ¼¾)äŗŗ(ļ¼¾ļ¼¾ )ć
There's a website called meet-up. Com and it has groups in a lot of options based on interests and they meet in public places so it's safe..
2 Likes
Get to as many AA meetings as you can.
Christy
Let me share with you from my many years of experience trying to get sober and relationships in early sobriety.
I know what loneliness is like. Loneliness is actually something that we choose. We don't have to be lonely. There are many things we can do to occupy our time. Sometimes, when we have this feeling of loneliness, it's really our disease telling us to return to our old friends.
I met a woman in Alcoholics Anonymous all the way back around 1992. Against the advice of the old timers, we decided that a relationship was going to be the answer to all our problems rather than doing the 12 suggested steps of AA. They were six of the most miserable years of my life.
I know this woman personally today, and we both agree that it was a big mistake for us to go this direction all those years ago. So my advice to you is to stay out of relationships for right now because 1, 2, 3 years from now you're going to be looking through a totally different set of glasses.
I would just concentrate on getting through your first year by going to the AA meetings as suggested above and getting active in the program. You're a young woman, and there's lots of time for relationships.
The first year of sobriety is the toughest. We are no longer suppressing our feelings with alcohol or drugs, and so we're learning how to live our lives all over again one day at a time. That's a big enough challenge with adding a relationship into the equation.
Look at your new life of sobriety as a way of reinventing yourself. It's a time of discovering who you really are. We can't discover who we really are when we're drinking all the time. I've heard it said that when we start drinking, we actually stop growing.
Do you want to try something really exciting? Go to the nearest Regional Airport and tell them that you would like to talk with a flight instructor. Tell them that you would like to go up for a discovery flight. They will teach you how to PreFlight an aircraft, get you in the left seat, and you will go through the checklist from starting the engine, taxing to the runway, and take off. It's a fantastic experience. The flight instructor will be seated on the right with his own set of controls so there's nothing to be afraid of.
Who knows? You may decide that you have found a new interest in life. They are really low on Pilots right now, and it's a great career if you choose.
Today is the first day of the rest of your life. What you do with it is up to you!
I have the same problem.
Christy, early sobriety I was seeking meetings w people similar to me, my age, my style, my everything on the outside. But I heard an 80 year old man describe his experience of perfect oblivion. It was exactly what I strived for. I heard a woman, that looked like a soccer mom, speak of her murderous rage. I completely identified with these people and realized that age, race, religion didnāt matter. I opened up to so many more opportunities to learn and grow.
Itās definitely hard at first, youāre not alone there! Like anything though, the more you exercise your āsober-socializingā muscle, the easier it gets. Also, there are clubs and groups for just about anything that are great for joining because youāll already have something in common! Book clubs, board game groups, and birdwatchers (which seems to be the ānew hipster thingā in my area lol). And of course, any exercise group you can think of, yoga classes, martial arts classes, 6-week-burly-muscle-gym-challenge classes etc. Anywhere you see the same people consistently and have a common interest? BOOM. Potential friendship š¤š¼