Feeling so alone today, was seriously considering a couple of glasses of wine, after work. Trying not to give in. It’s going to be another month, before I can see my boyfriend, in New Orleans. Seems like all I ever do is go to work, go straight home, so I won’t drink. I am signed up, for a full load of classes, and don’t even know, odd I can pull it off! Last Spring Quarter, things really fell apart, and I drank through every assignment. I was drink all night, in the morning, you name it, I was doing it. Finally with the help of my new Councelor, not my alcohol Councelor, but my regular Councelor, she referred me to detox. After that, I went directly into IOP. I had to go back to work, for the semester of college;. It was all evenings the IOP. I had to stop going, when I went back to work. Now I’m looking for a daytime IOP, while working nights. . Been out of the evening IOP for about a week. Had some major slips, since then. Have four days of not drinking under my belt. But feel really down, like nothing will ever change. That’s when the slips happen. Roadway, I’m feeling very burnt out, and like a case of the Fuck it’s. Sorry to be so to the point. I’m trying to focus, on the big picture, but it seems so far away, that I can’t even envision it.
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You should start writing down how you feel every day and what it is you’re doing. It made me very aware of the things that truly made me feel crappy vs. my other emotions. You can look back and compare.
Vivian, though we're in different states, none of us are alone. We have each other on this app to help us be accountable towards each other.
If you are burnt out it definitely sounds like you need a break. You have quite a bit on your plate.
Hang in there
Stick with it Vivian!