Fiancé just now left me, going to lose the house and everything I worked hard for. She’s so angry at me and I get it . What should I be doing right now?????
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If you get it then do it. Get sober.
I don’t plan on relapsing.
Well, now comes the work. Be surprised what kind of miracles come your way in sobriety. Never say never. Time sober heals most everything.
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It’s just the fact that this life is something I’m so used too.. and my kids , oh my god.
I am sorry to hear that. Focus on yourself, staying sober, and being the best person you can be. You can’t change the past, but maybe if she sees you handling yourself well you can still have a relationship with your kids. Best of luck to you.
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My sister divorced her husband because of his drinking. He got sober and has stayed sober. He has a great relationship with their daughter and my sister says he is a better dad now than when they were together. Hang in there.
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How many months are you behind on house payments?
I’m just selfish and wish to try and keep things together but I realize that’s something that’s unrealistic when everything is falling apart regardless.
Not behind yet. It’s when I go to court she won’t be able to afford it .
So the house is in both your names?
Why would you be going to court?
Just work on you through the 12 steps and don't place any expectations on her. Get yourself a sponsor and start going to meetings daily. She's been watching you not be too serious and she may have made a decision that she doesn't want to subject herself to any of this for the rest of her life. When people want to leave us, can we blame them?
Here is some food for thought.
Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one.
They are restless, irritable and discontented,
unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks--drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the
phenomenon of craving
develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an
entire psychic change
there is very little hope of his or her recovery.
This psychic change that they are referring to is acquired by getting a sponsor and getting into the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. That is your solution.
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Thank you Mr. Dave!! That is very very much appreciated, and know I’ll take that with me as I go to my meetings.. I have the problem with talking to people one on one for some reason and it’s something I need to work on in order to find the sponsor I will need. Any tips on finding one because I’ve walked the path of recovery for 5 years before and never had one. I practically shout out to the group asking if anyone would be willing to be my sponsor with no response. But I think it’s on me to just seek someone and actually talk about it all. The 12 steps are very important to me and I’m working on step 4 and 5 which are really hard for me. I’m being honest with myself and I really think the steps I’ve worked so far are keeping me above water in a sense. Thank you very much for taking the time to tell me this, it really means a lottttt.
Getting well. All you can do right now.
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Yes, it can be a little tricky trying to find a sponsor these days. People these days seem to be very busy. Sometimes they're not that busy they're just too busy to give back what's been given to them. It's a program of action and that's hard to find people to take action sometimes.
But if you want the best chance of finding a sponsor I would suggest going to a big book discussion meeting. There you will find people who have an interest in understanding how the program works.
Here is a great app that will work on both platforms to help you find any kind of meeting regardless of where you live.
As far as talking with people one on one, sometimes we make things out to be worse than what it really is. I would just simply start talking with people and the more that you talk to people the easier it will get. I understand the challenges. You said that you practically shout out at the meetings that you really need a sponsor but there's no response.
Sometimes we have to look for those older people who are retired and have been in the program for a long time.
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It feels good once you’re able to pass something on, or even better than hearing something that needed to be heard imo. Seriously thank you so much! I’ll look into it
You're very welcome. Give yourself a pat on the back. You're taking more action than most people are willing to take simply by asking for help. Continue moving forward on your journey and I can promise you to pay off is tremendous.
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Luckily I learned a lot when I went to a year long rehab and met great people like yourself that acknowledged the disease for what it is. I still consider myself a new comer and I see what all the hard work can do. Thanks for committing your thoughts and references to me!
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O M G! I was just looking at your profile. I lived in Amarillo from 1998 until 2008. I got sober in 2002 at Managed Care in Lubbock Texas.
I lived in bars every day for the longest time. My home group was Hobbs Plaza group. I still know people from there.
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