I feel like im stuck in permanent fight mode. And its been like that since i was a teenager. But instead of throwing fists (although, i wont lie. I would welcome a fist fight with someone for absolutely no reason), i let my mouth run. Im super defensive, quick with my tongue but often slow with my thoughts. I say things out of anger that i dont mean or believe. I've done anger management, and i have done therapy. I feel addicted to my anger and i keep relapsing.
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maybe try boxing? Or start a fight club with likeminded people?
I’m a big fan of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) [it’s not everybody’s jam but it works for me!]
Thoughts > feelings > actions > consequences > thoughts > feelings > actions > consequences > thoughts, etc.
It’s a cycle. If I can change my thoughts, I can change everything else. It takes time but can be SO VERY beneficial and rewarding! You got this!!
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I'm familiar with CBT. We used that method a lot in therapy. I always seem to do good for a while, and then as slow as I learned the faster it went out the windows.
But you are correct. I used to be a really big pessimist, never saw the bright side, nothing positive. It wasn't until the last few years I changed the way I thought.
I just have a hard time keeping that thought process when I start to get irritated. Before I know it, it snowballs so much I could build the world's tallest snowman of anger. What makes it worse, I'm very aware when it starts to happen and then boom, I've lost control.
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I get that. It’s really hard to change the way that you think about things in the way you react to things especially if that’s something that you’ve been doing for a long time!
Read this book called Let them!
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I love to read so I'm gonna add it to my shopping list
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Do you think you are repressing another emotion through this anger? Any sort of fear, loneliness, sadness? This anger may also be from pent up anger towards people in your childhood which haven’t been forgiven
Very much so. I suffered a lot of trauma as a child, physical abuse, mental abuse, rotation of different men in and out of the house. My mother was a drunk and an addict on top of being a narcissist.
Has anyone mentioned shadow work to you before?
It's ironic for me that you mentioned shadow work. My GF is currently listening to a book by Carl Jung right now as part of her learning journey into Reiki