The beginning of my program in the first years was a real struggle for me to see the Promises fulfilled. As a person negotiating a severely painful disability complex, I have perhaps had a further path to travel sometimes than some. Learning to be patient with myself was a huge part of my program, so that I am able continue to move forward in work towards what sobriety has to offer. Here are two promises that I recognize today coming true that I apply to just one small bit of my gratefully colorful life as an example…
Promise 1: We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.
I love my new trumpet practice routine. A stranger to Joy for so many years, I finally find Joy in these seemingly small things.
Promise 2: We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it.
I ended up cutting the whole semester of music class in middle school, after being assigned a trombone instead of a desired trumpet. What pushed me to quit was accidentally smacking a girl painfully in the back of her head with my trombone slide. I was too young to understand that without guidance, clueless, and without needed support in that situation. This was such a profoundly mortifying experience for me as a child, that even as an adult musician I did not pick up trumpet until age 53 after having mastered other types of instruments.
Today I find Joy not just from living in the present, but by overcoming my past by having it be a part of my experience now in a positive way.
Today my trumpet brings Joy.
Today maintaining my trumpet brings Joy.
Today, even my struggles ro sound good at it after my first month learning to play brings Joy.
I was never able to find this before, without putting myself into a heavily sedated altered state, and even then it was a fleeting feeling.
My program has allowed me to look forward to feeling this tomorrow…
