First time completing treatment and I’m about 6 months clean living in a sober living apartment. I recently got in contact with my ex that I up and left without knowledge that I was going to seek help. This whole time they thought I’d passed!! We’ve been together for 10 yrs. and I miss them so much. They’re my person..Reconnecting has been like a piece of my heart that has been missing is place back.. I’ve met with them a couple times and, they’re still using.. have mentioned getting clean but I haven’t seen any steps towards that. I know putting myself around places, people and things resonating with my using days can chip away at my sobriety but I’m having such a hard time trying to figure out what to do… I want to keep the connection going… maybe we can pull thru together… if I make boundaries..? Like keeping it long distance?
Tbh, when I got out of rehab after 3 months I felt super confident in sobriety. When I got home I was around someone I had been close with that was still using. I ended up relapsing, and frankly, if they’re still using they aren’t going to value your sobriety as much as you. I think being around them or talking to them wondering if they’re high or even knowing they know where to get it would bring you mentally back to the time when you used. If you’re going to stay sober and be with them long term then eventually they’d have to get sober too. My advice is to tell them you are in recovery and are willing to have a relationship/friendship when they are in recovery too. It’s for your own protection, not about your love for them. I just went through this exact thing so I hope I’m not sounding too direct. If you want to talk I’d love to!
Yeah I kind of already knew the direction it was going, I just don’t know if I’m ready to have that conversation and let go just yet… I want to see them one last time.. it honestly hasn’t been effecting my as much as your think but I know that it’s dangerous when I’m in a weak mental state
Letting go of your DOC is the hardest thing I think anyone could do (that’s what I’m struggling with rn). If you can do that, you can let go of this person with the mentality if they let go of it too, you guys can be free together.
Congrats on becoming sober. It's a happy day, isn't it? lpl
I am pulling for you SF!
Hi Summer, I think the most important thing for you in early sobriety is keeping your sobriety number one, over literally everything else, including this relationship. If they are still using and have no interest in sobriety then they are a risk to your sobriety. When we get sober some relationships do not recover from the change unfortunately. You can do this those, you have the strength within you to put your needs first, just keep doing the next step indicated. Good luck.