I celebrated five months of sobriety on the 17th! It’s hard to believe that almost half a year has gone by. I never would have thought I’d be capable of creating a peaceful life for myself.
It has not been easy getting here, & I really have to remind myself to keep putting the work in. I didn’t wreck my life overnight, & I’m not going to repair it overnight either. I make myself a hot breakfast every day. I have a work-out routine that I do six days a week. I make my bed every morning. I take time every morning to write down three things I’m grateful for, and I do the same in the evening. I’ve had to work on not being quite so rigid with my routines, because it was becoming all consuming. I tend to get obsessive if I’m not careful, so I have to be aware of that.
I found a zoom AA meeting that meets twice a day, & I’ve been tuning in most mornings. It’s more of a share based meeting, which is exactly what I need right now. There’s so much warmth & beauty, & it’s a great reminder to stay on track, and to help others.
A quote I heard this last week has really stuck with me, & I wanted to share it with you all.
“Expectations often lead to premeditated resentments.”
OOF. I know that hit me HARD. It was definitely a great reminder that I only have control over one thing: myself. My words, & my actions.
There have been some really dark days recently. Lots of painful memories are making their way to the surface, & it’s f*cking painful. But, there have also been some really beautiful days. I’m able to show up for my loved ones, and most importantly, I’m able to show up for myself.
One day at a time.
