For God, and my supportive family and few friends. For Celebrate Recovery and the churches I attend. For the small bit of humanity left in the few strangers and non-family members who have taken interest in helping me and to all the active duty women and men, veteran's because as a SCDV I know all to well the price of freedom and living can be quite burdensome for so many of us. For my kids because without them I would have left this place long ago.
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Josh Moe you’re not alone, I would have left myself long ago as well if not for my 2 grown children and my dogs.
Big Thank You to all veterans and their service and to their families.
I never read the posts but yours came up and touched my heart. 
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Right on Paula, and thanks for the reply. I have spent my life serving others and would have it no other way however life has taught me that few are deserving of it, self-included. I go to bed in pain I wake up in pain. For more days than not, over the last 15 plus years I get less than 3 hrs sleep. I have learned to rejoice in my suffering and I wish I could say it has made it easier, I imagine it has though I find it hard to tell the difference. I am happy that you were touched by that, that you cared enough to reply. More than anything I am happy that you did not give in as so many have and as is certainly the tempting and easier route. I know that today I will be okay and for that I am grateful. One day at a time. Again thank you so much, from the depths of amd with all of the warmth, in my heart Paula.