How do you cope? Friends, exes, family who are actively using and spiralling and need help but are stuck in the endless cycle of substance use. Maybe they aren’t really ready yet for it to stop or maybe they don’t have enough skills yet to get clean. How do you cope with not being able to help? I find I can’t sleep at night and constantly anxious because I’m scared I’m gonna get a call that friend is dead. They need help but wont let me. I want to stay in their corner by being compassionate but still trying to give tough love so they actually hear me. It’s such a tight rope balancing act. How do you cope with the anxiety and try and focus on yourself when a loved one is drowning. 
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I just pray for them. I say a prayer for those in and out of ❤️🩹 recovery.
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It’s hard because you won’t to see them do well. The best things to do are to pray and ask for your higher power to release the heavy energy that you hold for them. I am dealing with this too, being in recovery while practicing forgiveness and hanging up my cape as the hero. One of the most difficult things I have ever done !!
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Hi Talia, I literally just downloaded this app and haven’t had time to set up my profile. I am a 58 year old licensed substance use counselor, with 40 years of lived experience with, addiction,incarceration, homelessness and plenty of psychiatric stays, I’m not sure how long you’ve been sober, but it is incredibly common to experience a form of survivor’s guilt when transitioning into recovery. When you make the brave I choice to get clean, you are often leaving behind a community, friends, or a past version of yourself. Looking back at those who are still struggling,or those who didn't make it out, naturally triggers the painful question of, Why me? The intense desire to help and save everyone else is often a direct response to that heavy guilt. It can feel like if you can just rescue someone else, it will somehow balance the scales or ease the pain of seeing others left behind.
However, there is a vital shift that needs to happen to protect your own well-being, moving from a place of guilt to a place of purposeful gratitude. Wanting to help is a beautiful part of healing, but when it is driven by guilt, it easily turns into hyper-responsibility, the heavy, impossible belief that you are personally responsible for another person’s sobriety. True healing means recognizing that while you can share your story and offer support, you cannot control or carry someone else's journey for them. Learning to set those boundaries isn't selfish; it is the exact thing that keeps your own foundation strong enough to be of service to others. I tell clients the best way to help the ones we love who are lost,are through our actions and examples. Keep moving forward, you will shine as a beacon of hope, and believe me, everyone will see!
Stay Strong!
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You have a lot of people you care about and you can't chase everyone everywhere all the time. Look out for you so you can be there for as many as you can. Prayers up.
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Talya, 17 years of sobriety I’ve lost many friends to addiction. I had to practice acceptance and move on. I’ve learned to help those who actually WANT the help and are willing to go to any lengths to get and stay clean & sober. The statistics show that most of us parish from our addiction. Then they go to heaven.
All I can do is focus on the positives and help others when possible.
Our purpose is to be kind, loving and helpful. Nothing else matters or makes sense. Acceptance is the way to peace. Be happy, joyous and free.
I’m here if you want to talk or have any questions
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Thank you everyone for your comments it means more than you know xx
This really made me feel way less alone in this feeling