What was step 3 like for you? I couldn’t let go at first of a toxic relationship with an addict. I let go finally. Absolutely. But I didn’t want to have to. I’m glad to finally see the blessings of surrender and to be set free but part of me is grieving the loss of what I wanted...even though I know it was hurting me. I had to stop playing God. I was destroying my own life trying to control his
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I’m still on the first step but letting go of that toxic lesson probably end up being a blessing for you
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Steps 1 and 2 got me in the door. Step 3, Turning myself over to god wasn't gonna happen, as I don't have a belief in that. I turned myself over to the care and the experience of the group. Easy enough. No supernatural nonsense, just straight up, good, bad and ugly, people helping people. That makes sense to me and for me, it's working.
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I never heard of any steps…and I’ve been going to a treatment center for 2 years now
For me, step 3 was almost like a relief that I didn't have to try and control anything anymore. Obviously, I wasn't very good at it anyhow! 
By the time I got to the rooms I was so broken, so defeated that I would have turned my will & life over to anyone who f*cking wanted it! I just couldn't do it anymore! I knew that I could not go on another day living the way I was living. Period.
Once I began to see and believe that there was something out there bigger than myself, I couldn't turn things over to it fast enough!
That's when my life truly started to change. The obsession to drink/use had been lifted. I was propelled into steps 4 & 5 which cleared away all the guilt, shame, anger, pain & disappointment I had been carrying pretty much my whole life. It was then that I realized that I was not a bad person who wanted to be a good one. I was a very sick person who wanted to get well.
Today, I do the 3rd step & 7th step prayer every morning. Also asking God (the universe, the ocean, Group Of Drunks ect.) to please guide me and protect me throughout my day. Please direct my thoughts. Direct my heart. Direct words. And direct my actions. Please help me to be an an example of you light and your love.
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AA 12 steps guided by the big book:
Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol—that our lives had become unmanageable.
Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
Step 4: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step 5: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
Step 6: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
Step 7: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
Step 8: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
Step 9: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step 10: Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
Step 11: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God, as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.
That’s the faith step and it grows over time if we’re lucky.
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1,2,and 3 .. #I can’t,#2 he can, #3 I think I’ll let him.. I gave my will over to a powder in a wax paper fold for more then half my life.. I prayed for smaller jail sentences. I prayed I wouldn’t get arrested, to please god don’t let me stay sick today. I just changed what I have been asking for from him.. gods will, not mine, be done. ( short version of the serenity prayer)when we accept what we can not change . We give our power over( step one) courage to change the things we can( we’re asking for the strength and we’re not in control)step #2. It opens us up to turning our will over to something greater that you choose to call your higher power)
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I always go back to that step and realize I made a choice to turn my life over to a power greater than myself. I routinely try to go back a control my life and it always causes issues when I do. I remember I heard someone say, #1-There is a power that is trying to kill me (alcohol). #2-There is a power that will save my life. #3-Which one will I choose? Hopefully that helps, but it also says in the book that we have to be constantly reminded that we are not running the show.
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