Just feel like I've been battling my mind even more lately. All the old activities that I used to always involved drinking no matter what it was. Hard to picture a life where I never drink again even though it's what I want and need.
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The first 90 days of sobriety can be very confusing for a person. Go to meetings listen to people when you will be well
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Hey Matt— it will get better. Radical thinking is necessary. New people, places and things are important. If you drank with your friends, at least for a while, those friends are just not going to work right now. That can be hard and scary. Get active and surround yourself with people who help you build your “protective layers” of mental strength. I like SMART recovery
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Find a vice and friend that is there for you to fully support you through your toughest days ! Vice can be herb ..a new hobby go out and do the things you enjoy and think of alcohol as a horrible ex …you have a restraining order against it.
I definitely relate brother!Ive been sober a year on Thursday and I don’t crave alcohol or getting loaded.but when I’m lonely,bored and get squirlly in my head which is a lot,getting fucked up is still usually the first thing that comes to mind?!I pray a lot,hit a meeting and try not to isolate.you’re not alone man.stay strong!
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It gets so much easier and actually becomes kind of fun to realize what a great/fun person I can be without it; a whole new level of confidence
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I use the serenity prayer a lot when my mind goes negative. I fought the idea of not ever drinking again. I wanted to be able to drink normally, I failed every time. I hate the phrase, it takes time but it does. I have fought many hard battles in my first 18 months sober but things are great now. Like I crossed a bridge. Now I can’t see myself taking mine altering substances again. I will never say never and will continue to do it one day at a time. Everyone’s journey is different. Hold your head high and keep putting one foot in front of the other.
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Don’t worry about the future Matt. The easiest way to do it is one day at a time. “ I won’t drink today”
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Gonna have to do what seems so obvious. for some it happens on small bites and for others the change is entire in scope.
First you need to change the people in total. My guess is the bar hasn't called to check up. Maybe a drinking buddy or two has popped into see you. unless you share something other than hanging at the har...that will end soon.
To find new people AA is just plain gonna be your best friend. You may need to go to over 100+ different meetings to find 10 folks you really connect with but you will. Remember folks in AA want tonhelp but you need to do your part. Suck it up and raise your hand and introduce yourself. Gonearly and help set up. Stau after to help break down. Some meetings won't have your "vibe" but others will. Just keep going back to the ones where you feel better st the end just for being there.
Changing the people takes you to new places. New places allow you to try new things. There is no time limit. Sometimes quickly, and sometimes slowly...it'll happen if you try hard
enough.
IDAAT!
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There is no way I could quit drinking forever. That’s too long. I just don’t drink today, no matter what.
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Hey Matt, I want to share a video I saw yesterday that kind of helped view things in a different way. It’s hard for me to think of forever as well as I’ve known drinking since I was 12 and it’s who I’ve been my whole life. Detaching from drinking has been so difficult for me and I still struggle. Anyway, the video may help you it may not but it’s worth a watch I think. Feel free to add me as a friend and I’ll send it over.
Just for today
I struggle with it also..I loved drinking. But it's like a toxic/abusive relationship that I know isn't good for me. I understand the struggle. I'm looking into a antidepressant maybe because I need a new way to cope and hopefully take the edge off.
Think about what drinking added to your life. Try not to glorify the “good times” and remember the fall out where the drink lead you. The addiction wants you to keep going and will lead you to a downward spiral.
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Addiction/alcoholism is a very evil thing that can bring us to our knees then sometimes we always still want more, u won’t on ur own time have a little faith! 
I completely relate to this. It’s like trying to start a new life in a different dimension. I’ve been struggling with it too.
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I agree with the others, when I learned why I drank, it was much easier to move forward and live life without. Besides, I never drank normal, I drank until I got stopped, and that usually involves fun things like waking up in jail, or on top of a dumpster, or next to strangers I wouldn’t even have a coffee with sober. So when I think of drinking, I think of all the bad times, because the good times were far behind me. That’s the insanity we suffer from, in our minds we still think we can do it in a funny way, and I know I’m not able to do that, so I have more fun sober now.
Lots of good advice and comments. I really can't add much more. You're used to suppressing your brain with alcohol. Now that you're not suppressing it with anything your mind is starting to think and feel.
We didn't get this way overnight, and we're not going to get better overnight. We have to give time, time. I've heard it said that it's 10 miles into the woods and 10 Mi back out.
If you drank every day, then I would go to a meeting every day, at least for the first 90 days. When I first got sober, I went to at least two meetings a day forever.
And whatever you do, don't pick up the first drink. Get some phone numbers and actually use them.
And if the thought of picking up a drink crosses your mind we have to play the scene forward. What happens if you drink? You may feel some relief for a short period of time but sooner or later you will be right back where you started, carrying around a lot of guilt realizing that you accomplished absolutely nothing.
Take things one day at a time. It really does get better.
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I focus on what I want to accomplish, which helps me focus on what to do in the moment.
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Hi Matt, you will continue to battle your mind, until you allow the program and the people in it to interrupt your bad thinking….we all go through it….courage my friend!!!!! Keith Kayle