What I have been through in my self-pity does not give me the right to pass my pain onto anyone else!! I've been contemplating forgiveness...both for self and others. I'd appreciate anyone's thoughts on forgiveness 
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Forgive is a very hard thing to give, especially for yourself. I am my own worst enemy. Forgiving yourself takes time and baby steps. The longer you stay away from the drink, the more clarity you will get on the issues you beat yourself up about and things will get better. I can remember times that people bullied me as a kid and still harp on it. When I realize I am have those thoughts I redirect my thoughts to something happier or focus on a song or movie. This too gets easier with time. Stay strong, my friend.
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Thankyou! I'm praying for God's grace to see me through. Trying to accept that I'm exactly where I'm meant to be and that it will all make me a better person. Bundle of emotions
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I grew up in a strict catholic home and I was taught guilt shame and never letting the past go. I felt like I became the bad thing and not just a person that made mistakes and It made it hard for me to forgive others too. I finally realized that holding on to things was only hurting me. Forgiving others released so much of the pain I was carrying And I also realized that being mad or ashamed at things i did when I was in active addiction would not change that it happened. I just had to let it go and realize I’m not my past mistakes and I won’t be defined by it. 
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If you're interested there are a lot of good resources on forgiveness. I prefer faith based approaches to this so if you're interested let me know.
Gm and yes interested...thankyou
I really like the videos that Tony Evans has on YouTube about overcoming strongholds, praising God in a storm, and forgiveness. If you type in Tony Evans forgiveness in YouTube a few will come right up. I'll dig through some books In have too; one which I really like is called The Search for Significance. It's a bit challenging for me at the beginning but really good.
I will give it a listen at work today! I've got headphones on to listen to what I wish at work...ty and have a blessed day 
You too, thanks!