I am really struggling with forgiveness today. My mom is out of control with her drinking. This is something that’s been an issue my whole life. She briefly got sober about a year ago, but went back out. I’ve been sober nearly 8 years and helping others is usually not an issue, but it seems to be particularly difficult when you see a loved ones suffer from the same disease as me. She recently just texted my ex-wife and said some really nasty things during a time when things are going really good between us and we are coparenting really well. For me that is the line in the sand and as much as I wanted to curse her out and tell her to leave us alone until she gets sober, I couldn’t. We’re getting ready for her to visit soon and I almost told her not to come, but I didn’t. When I expressed how disappointed I was, she said she was sorry and she wants to pretend like everything else didn’t happen. For me that’s not good enough. I need to see those changes. At the same time I also remember what it was like when I did that. I have been ignoring her text because I don’t know what to say anymore but at some point I have to say something and I hope it’s in a way that is loving butfirm. And she realize what is that stake if she continues down this path. Not something I would pick up over. But it is something that hurts. I am a single dad and I need to focus all of my energy on my son, not having to take care of my own mother. I’m grateful that I did not react to the way. I really wanted to act. However, now I have to pray for the power and the courage to confront her and pray that she listens.
Tim, thanks for sharing. That sounds like a pretty tough situation a good one, not to be alone in.
My mom has been back out for quite some time. For her, it’s the pills. She got a prescription in there just wasn’t any going back after that. Having to forgive a close family member addictive patterns and abuse of something I can relate to. And about drove me nuts last year. At the end of it, I had to focus on my life and future, like you’re doing.
I don’t know if this helps, but I let go of who is going to be in my future. I do hold onto how they’re going to be there. I only let sober and good people into my future. Everybody else is just in my day. They’re the part of the day I move through to get to my peace. It ain’t no different with mom. It really helps me to pray for her. I don’t know if it does any good, but it gets it out of my system for the moment. Some people will tell you it does a lot of good though.
Thats awesome thank you for your comment and support
Watching someone you love battle the same demon you’ve overcome is a different kind of heartbreak. Your strength shows in the way you paused, prayed, and didn’t react out of pain. That’s spiritual maturity. That’s grace. You’re protecting your peace and your son, and that matters.
How are you holding up emotionally?
Thank you Crissy. Emotionally it has been tough. She goes back tomorrow, she has been mostly sober but there has been a few instances. Tomorrow she goes back and I hope she at least considers some of the stuff we talked about.
I was disappointed when her first few nights here when i still had to work I trusted her with my son and she got wrecked. Than at the amusement park she snuck away from us to get drunk and she ended up being a mess.
Since than it yas been tough, we spend time together but barely talk. She knows how upset I am, and I am sure she feels guilty. But as long as i keep forgiving she wont stop.