I was addicted to opiates for 15 years after a tumultuous relationship with a man I thought was the love of my life. I am an opiate addict. Years of popping pain pills which lead to heroin which lead to methadone. I had a friend also addicted to pills asking me to please help her as she was in “pain”. I gave her one of my take home doses and it was too much for her and it killed her. She had taken my methadone many times before and was fine. I could sometimes take 3 times the amount of one dose and still be fully functioning. But one dose killed her and I went to prison for it. I came home. Was clean for 2 years. And I bought some stuff at a vape store called Tianeptine. And now I’m addicted to that. I make about $80,000 a year and I’m broke 2-5 days after I get paid because of addiction again. I’m so mad I let myself get back to this point. So I’m gonna try to quit. I’m starting here. I wanna take my teenage son on road trips and concerts and I want him to have lots of good memories with me. This is my motivation. I need to be doing more for him and for myself and not relying on a pill to feel normal. So…here we go.
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I pray for you. I understand completely
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Glad you're here 
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Keepin yu n yur family in prayer 
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So sorry to hear that Stacey. Are you attending meetings with peers? 
can you get into rehab?
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No. I know I need to at least go into a detox for a few days but I need to find the right time to take off work. I’m willing to go to meetings but the one in my small town are mostly just alcoholics and have all known each other for years and I just can’t comfortable there. They were very nice. I just felt like a black sheep. Maybe I’ll try again. It’s been a few years since I’ve tried.
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Thank you Devon. 
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Thank you. 
There’s online zoom meetings as well you can try. Something better than nothing
That’s a good idea. I’ll start with that. Thank you