Found out earlier today an old friend of mine died

Struggling Help
#1

Found out earlier today an old friend of mine died. The relationship ended when she got sober and i kept drinking. Havent seen or spoken to her in years. In that time i got sober and she relasped. Today i am sober and she no longer here. Seems like a weird twisted fate. I still havent fully processed this yet. I feel an unexpected sadness and loss far greater than i would have thought. All the feelings and emotions from the past swirled to top.

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#2

Hi Scott,
That's a difficult twist for sure. Very sorry for your loss and I understand where you're coming from on the unexpected levels of emotions. We stuff our feelings so we'll when drinking, now sober we get to feel them full force and all the connected feelings that we never dealt with at the time. It's definitely not easy!! Again, so sorry for what you are going through!! Lean on your HP, program and support system. Take care of yourself.

#3

Scott, thanks for sharing. Have you studied the cycle of grief? This world isn't the end, and we still have time left. Everyone processes grief a little differently, but looking at the cycle of grief and working through the phases helped me when I lost persons in the past.

#4

Do you have recommended reading material on this cycle of grief?

#5

I don't unfortunately, but there's a bunch of information on the web about it. Dr. Tony Evans has this message, he's been helpful to me in the past.

#6

I'm proud that you are sober today. The loss of a person could make your goal a lot more achievable. I pray that you continue your fight because that's what your friend would want you to do.

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#7

Give yourself some time and grace...
"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished."
Just listen to your breath when things get tough...hang in there.

#8

Yeah, it is a weird twisted fate. It makes one ask the question, what could have been without addiction as the third member of the relationship. If your grieving something that never happened, you might be grieving the fantasy. Grief is nonlinear. You just gotta let it fly. The thing is, there’s a hidden joy/strength/power in all of this for you. Maybe not immediately. But it is there. It’s actually begging to come to the surface. Otherwise you wouldn’t be grieving through what you need to grieve through to earn it. Addicts forget the real joy is actually earned. Some of it’s inherent. And we have to go through some life snot to get there. So that’s what you’re doing. Going through some life snot to get to some inherent joy that you just freakin deserve cause you’re alive and you’re you. Just grieve the fantasy man. Let it go. I’m sure it would’ve been beautiful. I bet the reality under that grief is better tho.

#9

Thanks for sharing Scott. Reminds me …. But for the grace of G.O.D. go I. So identify. Keep the faith my friend. #ODAAT

#10

Happy Easter brother, how are you?

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