From the bottom to the top and everywhere in between. That’s what’s on my mind. I’ve been sober for a little over six years now and feel the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. I am not going to go drink that’s not what I’m worried about. Im not actually worried at all. I just feel like I gotta tell my story now to anyone who will listen…..My story is kinda crazy so I thought I would share. On Memorial Day 2016 my best friend/brother hung himself and finding him really sent me over the edge. I kept having ptsd of the day and literally drank myself to sleep every night from the day he died until I entered rehab on September 18th. My doctor was a massive contributing factor to my downfall after Pats death. Being the addict that I am and was a complete wreck of human emotions from finding him and the pain just hurt oh so bad….so instead of recommending counseling he prescribed me 4 valiums per day and sent me on my way. Next thing I knew I was leaving my job early to get my two shooters of fireball and 3 tall beers for the back road ride home for an hour every day. I’d be wasted by the time I got home because I would take two valiums and two shots and oh boy I was fucked up. So now I was just heading off of a cliff. I was stealing my wife’s adderal, taking 2-30 gram xr’s, 2 Valium, 3-4 bong hits, then boozing all day for months on end once I got really bad. I started chasing woman and having an affair on my wife with an old friend. I was a disaster now. Literally thought I was in love with this other woman and I was in delusion land because we had nothing in common at all amd I thought I loved her. This lasted about two months until my wife caught me talking to her in the phone high on adderal amd Valium at 3 am. She moved out and took my two boys to her parents house and I tried my damndest to have the drugs and booze take me away for good. Someone was looking out for me because my wife literally called me with a counselor on the phone and asked if I would go to rehab. I was a broken man and said yes I would. We found an 80 acre estate in Harrison mi called brs and it changed my life! It was a 8,000sqft lodge completely secluded with 30 beds of people struggling just like me. I spent 45 days there and that is when everything changed. I had a dream of starting a business when I was young and now that I was freshly sober, had my family back together, and ready to take on the world I started my business. Things exploded! Since then I’ve done millions in sales and built a great union company that I am extremely proud of! I’ve had awards, and congratulations, and everything I could have ever wanted the last few years but became horribly miserable. I became chasing objects and things instead of memories that mattered. Spending money on pointless things trying to fill some whole that was left in me when I left the crutch of drugs and alcohol. I have woken up lately into a realization that I created this incredible life with incredible grit. I’ve lived by the quote since rehab that “I can’t boil the ocean, so why try?”Thats got me focusing again on things that matter and not all the noise that’s been created from the business ups and downs that was causing me this horrible stress and anxiety. I was trying to control too many things and realized I needed management and put some great people in place lately that have helped a ton. What I have now is everything I ever dreamed of and I’m starting to find purpose in providing the environment for my employees to thrive and not the dollars in the bank as much. I’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the last few years but I have remained sober and strong the entire time. I haven’t went to aa once and haven’t had a sponsor this entire time. I have decided that I am going to a meeting tomorrow to start telling my story to people! I have gone from the bottom to the top, and everywhere in between and if I can help anybody now I am going to help as many people as I can by telling my story. Thanks for reading. I hope this helps someone struggling.
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That is AWESOME!!! Great job