Frustrated with myself

At this point im really not sure whats going on with me... This time last year i checked my self in to rehab i stayed clean for 4 months then relapsed i stayed highfor 3 months straight took my self back to rehabwhen I returned home july 3rd 3 hours later i was rolling a bowl and ive been high just about every day since then... i dont want to live this life anymore i know that i have so much more to live for but i keep picking this pipe back up and i iust don't understand if i dont want it why do i keep doing this to my self. The worst part is that my children and parents are the ones who are suffering when im out there... soo worried about my well-being...

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Wow I see myself in so many other people I suffer from the same problem I know I don't need it I know I shouldn't do it but something in my mind tells me I can and I don't understand it I Don't do it around my family. I have more to lose than most. A suspended sentence of 27 yrs in VA. All it takes is one arrest, and my life is over. Just for today, let's not get high together? I've been awake since 8am, not high yet, let's stay sober for the day. We'll worry about tomorrow when it gets here

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I understand

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Same. It's crazy how I keep going back to it knowing I don't even like gow it makes me feel. When u don't like something common sense tells us just don't. Don't eat something u don't like... Don't go places that make u feel uneasy... But with this there is no sense to be made. I hate it and everything about it but I have become a habitual relapser. Please God make it make sense.

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Jessica please know u loved and u deserve happiness.

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Added you chat after add back if you need