I’m 41 years old. I’ve been a lifelong drinker starting at age 13. Drinking has plagued my life.
I’ve only had my driver license for about 8 years; all the other years I was on probation. That’s right folks I’ve got 3 DWIs. And I did eight months in Nassau County jail. I did not get to see my son born. I met him for the first time in jail.
Here I am now, and I am off probation and I am getting my license back for the third time. I am deathly afraid I was making that same mistake again. If I get in trouble again, I go to prison for at least seven years no if ands or butts about it.
Jail was hard enough. Prison would be undoable for me. At least in jail I was still close to family and I could have my mom and wife visit me pretty regularly, whereas if I go to prison, they will send me almost into Canada, which would make any visits really not doable. Not to mention, I would not be there to support my wife, my son Declan, or our baby on the way.
I know that fear is not the answer. I am and have always been quite reactive in nature. There have been time in my life when I have had control and been proactive, but I can count on one and how many years that was. Every time things for me, I always find a reason to be mad about something ungrateful that I end up sabotaging myself.
I pray that I can stay sober. I was doing pretty well until July last year my dad died. He was only 68 and had been fighting their lives for the last five years of his life. I know that I large reason for why he died so young - the stress I put on him was never ending.
So, here goes another attempt at sobriety. Day one starts now.
