My son is autistic and is in daily therapy 6 hours per day. I drive an hour there and back to go get him so no way to get a job in between those hours. I have struggled with addiction my whole life. (Multiple DUI arrests, long stint in inpatient) It’s creeping back up into me and it hasn’t ruined my life again yet but I feel like it will if I don’t stop. My “husband’s” older son just comes over to our house and smokes a ton of weed almost daily because he thinks dad is “cool” for letting him do it. My husband doesn’t care about anything in life but being liked by him so it’s been a battle since they were a kid not to give them everything they want. Now it’s coming up into my life. Now every weekend looks like a party at my house and that’s not what I want. I want safe. I want healthy. I just have ZERO way out. No supportive family, I can’t just run. I don’t know what to do. I’m ready to get better. I’m ready to be the best version of myself. But I can’t with the weed and beer in my face all the time. I have tried to change him and reason but it’s like he doesn’t understand. I feel like I’m just dying from the inside out. I just don’t know what to do anymore and I see the light but there’s no one there to hold my hand to help me get there. I needed to vent. Thank you for listening.
It takes a lot to ask for help. Obviously sobriety means a lot to you. I’m glad you shared this with us. You will get a lot of support and advice from the group. Ultimately you will need to take some actions in order to maintain both your sobriety and your sanity. Have you ever tried AA or NA? I suggest these programs because they are filled with people just like us. You need support in a bad way. Your specific challenges may be slightly different than the next persons, but you will have true friends to talk things out. Other than a big congrats for getting clean and sober…that’s my .02
Thank you! Yes I think I’m going to start going to meetings again soon! I’m afraid he will end up getting mad at me for changing our fun party house. They won’t want to come over anymore so I know ultimately it will be my fault. You’re 100% right though. I need to just take the step to change it all. Thank you 
Please look up Annie Grace … she is the absolute BEST when it comes to helping people with sobriety!!!. I borrowed her book called This Naked Mind from the library. Then I read her 2nd book called The 30 Day Alcohol Experiment & they were both really enlightening books!! She has a Podcast & answers readers questions on YouTube. I also downloaded the This Naked Mind companion app on my phone. She also has a paid program called The Path & trust me it’s totally worth the money for all of the videos, wonderful coaches & community support.
She is the best for people like me who think that they are “a lost cause “
Completely understand. I’m glad you’re familiar with meetings, as you know how much of a benefit they can be. I spent a lot of years playing the victim (not saying you are), and only practicing the powerless part of the serenity prayer. When I became aware that I had a choice, and that doing nothing was a choice…that’s when my life got better. The courage to change the things we can. Pray for the strength and courage. You can do this, but you will need a lot of support. Welcome back!
She also has a boxed set of both books that you can buy an Amazon. And she co-wrote a book about nicotine for people who want to give up smoking
Thank you!! Honestly I’ve been listening to podcasts on my long drives and it’s helped a ton and really motivated me to step it up. I will definitely look it up and read/ listen to it!!
Sorry to hear about your situation. I’ve been in similar.
I would highly suggest ALANON family groups. It is free and available everywhere. It specifically offers solutions for family members living with the disease of alcoholism. It was a life saver for me.
Remember, nothing changes if nothing changes.
Hola Sober is also free!!! They are all volunteers. I know about autism because I’m a professional career nanny who took care of a girl with autism for 9.5 years. She also has ADHD, anxiety, OCD, asthma & Pathological Demand Avoidance
It’s a we program! We are here to listen
I had no idea this existed!!! I love that and definitely will be looking into it! Thank you
Alive Today ~~ that’s the whole beauty of asking for help!!! When you actually reach out for help, then people give you all sorts of advice & can tell you where to look & what to check out!!! 
Oops! My last message was actually for McKinnley
Praying for you McKinnley it’s definitely a difficult living situation but you will find way, just don’t give up
I love this due to the fact of me going through the same process but due to drug addiction I totally get where you’re coming from
I get it. I’m 44 days sober but my husband is still drinking and our porch is where everyone comes to socialize and drink. I know I can’t change him so I avoid going out there. It’s a tough situation. Having an autistic son is very stressful and challenging in itself. Maybe try setting some boundaries with your husband and his other son? Let him know you want to be sober and all the partying around is hard for you. Hopefully he will respect your feelings, decisions and support you. Find support at meetings as well. I wish you the best🙏