Gm,my fellow brothers & sisters. I am struggling with the fact that my boyfriend slipped up yesterday and I am very scared & saddened!!! He is 15 months and I am 3 months.I’m afraid that I will always have suspicions thoughts of him drinking!!! & I know that it is not healthy for ME or our relationship.How do I support him without enabling him?…and protecting myself at the same time?!
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Maybe it’s time to focus solely on you
You can’t help anyone else until your are whole
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Totally agree, work on you first!
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Sobriety or recovery is very hard in the first year. You MUST focus on your own recovery, that’s the only way you’re not going to pick up. Enabling others is something I also struggle with due to my codependency
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You Hold him accountable. You do this with or without him. For your life. If he’s coming, he’s coming. If he’s not he’s not. You’re doing this for you. Sobriety is about hard truths & massive sacrifices. Offer support and compassion, and leave the relationship if you need to.
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Put yourself first.
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I agree 100% you can’t help someone when you aren’t currently able to as well. I’m 1 year and almost 5 months into my clean time, I’m an addict. But I’ve had to come to terms that when I was ready to get clean and I wanted the life I so desperately deserved I couldn’t be with the person I was with because he wasn’t ready and it kept bringing me down further into the hole of addiction. I had to do what was best for me a leave in order to get clean and create the life I’ve always wanted! Sometimes the right thing to do is also the hardest! I’m not saying you need to leave him! Because it’s absolutely your decision! But I seriously think you should look at the pros and cons of this situation and y’all’s relationship and your well-being too! You need to put yourself first because no one else will!
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Thanks everyone for your advice !!! I so appreciate y’all !!!
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