Going to a wedding sober - need tips
I’m approaching 30 days sober and in April I have to go to a good friend’s wedding. My therapist has said that I should bring a sober date - anyone have any advice on how to find one? I know that we are generally supposed to avoid romantic relationships in year 1. Would it be weird to ask a guy I meet in AA if we become friends first?
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Hi Reilly, a date could just be a good friend, or maybe someone from the program you are involved with. It doesn’t mean that it has to be someone you are romantically involved with.
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As you collect advice and decide who to take with you, just remember that maintain your sobriety should be your primary goal. You've announced to the universe that finding a date is important to you, the universe will respond. Take some steps to let the universe know you want to stay sober at this wedding as well. Have you thought of letting your friend who is getting married know that you're working on your sobriety. Maybe they can seat you with some people who won't be going all out to get hammered and at least lower the temptation to drink.
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Pray first thing in the morning & give it all to your Higher Power! ONLY she will keep you sober!!!
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You can always bring someone as a friend rather than a date. I would say drink energy drinks and sparkling water. Keep a drink on you, or gum, in order to achieve the oral fixation you would want while everyone around you may tempt you otherwise
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Keep a drink (water, soda, etc) in hand at all times so people are less likely to offer to get you a beer! Drive yourself in the event it gets wierd or uncomfortable and you have to bail.
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I like the always have a drink in your hand idea. Have an exit plan in place and have someone, a date, with you can help hold you accountable
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Get a sponsor. They will help you navigate this stuff. You have plenty of time to find one, but don’t wait. I wouldn’t look for a guy at AA to be your support. If you want to stay sober through things like this, find a bunch of lady friends in the program. Those are the people that you can call when things get sticky.
And just leave early before drunk shenanigans break out. Those are not worth your sobriety and you will find that they look really stupid when you are sober.
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I had to go to a wedding 12 days into being sober. Yes, keep a drink in your hand at all times. I had the bartender mix up a ‘camouflage mocktail’ for me: mostly soda water with a splash of OJ and cranberry juice each, topped with lime. Looked like a real drink so nobody asked any questions, and it was delicious. I also ubered home early. I wouldn’t call the whole experience fun, but it was manageable.
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Have an exit plan in place or take someone in sobriety with you.
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I prayed two times in the morning,
I prayed two times at night,
I prayed two times in the afternoon,
It makes me feel all right.
I prayed two times in time of peace,
And two in time of war.
I prayed two times before I prayed two times,
And then I prayed two times more.
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This may sound stupid but get a designated driver badge. I leaned on this truck before. Good luck.
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Reilly — the first wedding that I went to sober was my own lol it was so much fun to be sober, I remembered the whole thing and danced my booty off. You will have fun 
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Some may disagree, but I like to have club soda in a champagne glass. You can do it, however you decide to do it. If it’s too hard, just leave. No. Guilt. Be kind to yourself.
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Go to a meeting before you go. If you get a guy to go let him now his job . To be with you to help you not be tempted.and leave at any time. Aa 
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Shawn O is right .take some women friend from aa with you.safer then a guy.
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Good luck! Order a soft drink in a wine glass if you think you will feel triggers
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I went to a wedding sober back in October (as a bridesmaid and without a date) I drank lots of ginger ale and just kept reminding myself that I didn’t want to be the talk of the party … let someone else take that role. Also I see your in NYC and so am I if you want to connect!
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I have drank since then but just joined this app trying to make it a more permanent change
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Lots of great advice here! For me playing the tape out before I go somewhere or while I’m being tempted is a wonderful tool to use. If you don’t know what that is, it’s playing out the outcome of what the night/next day will be like if I drink…
The phenomenon of cravings don’t start until we take that first drink. Then the allergy begins. I definitely like the idea of bringing a sober support friend with you. Girl or guy. I didn’t read anything in the big book about this 1 year no relationship stuff… however I can say from experience it makes sobriety a little more challenging to navigate through.
Sobriety is fun! Go have fun! Just don’t drink. You can have fun without drinking. Plus it’s a good way to see how irritating people get when they drink…
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