Going to my 3rd sober concert today and I can’t

Struggling Help
#1

Going to my 3rd sober concert today and I can’t help but want to drink for it.

With the other two artist, (coldplay and Red Hot Chili Peppers) I did not crave drinking at all because those artist are not ones I associated drinking and partying to.

However, The Weeknd is an artist I heavily used to. His lyrics glamorize doing drugs and I wanted to live up to that.

I’ve been having dreams this past week of me relapsing and in my dream I’m so disappointed in myself.

But as I’m here getting ready for the concert tonight, I can’t help but want to pre game or line up lines.

I know very well if I were to drink tonight it won’t stop at the concert, it won’t even stop tonight, it will go into next week.

I just feel week and scared.

#2

*weak

#4

My addiction keeps telling me, “just tonight, you’ve been doing good so treat yourself, this time will be different, or just drink alone in the bathroom no one will know”.

I know these are all lies but these thoughts are getting louder.

#5

And why are you being forced to this concert again? Keep tempting fate it usually wins.

#6

For me, it’s a simple truth. I drink, I get drunk. There is no in between.