Going to parties and being my authentic self..I struggle with social events sober. People know me as the one that gets trashed and goes wild. I dance around, sing, socialize, and overall act a fool. My sober self is quite shy, introverted and honestly no fun at all. I can't seem to socialize, dance , sing or any of that. So people notice. I hear things like," What's wrong?" "You're too quiet." I wish my personalities weren't so different because I don't want any attention drawn to me because I'm sober. Anyone else have this issue? It makes me want to avoid parties altogether but that wouldn't be healthy and I want to be able to live my life the same minus alcohol. Isn't that possible?
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Depending on how far along you are in sobriety…the “fun Cher” will make a comeback, just a bit different. For me I needed to find out who I really was, and deal with all the past demons. Once that happened I found new comfort in my own skin. You will get there! Alcohol was just the lubricant to allow the real you to come out. She’s still there.
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Great share! In the UU church we say “Bring your authentic self” and I’m finding that it’s not a one time deal. Over almost 20 years I’m still learning to get better at it. What I’d say is that trusting your own heart vs looking to others for validation is a habit that will take time to feel natural - and for me personally, even though I didn’t experience the huge personality change you describe, I can tell that being alcohol-free is moving me into a new phase of authenticity.
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Not possible for me.
Totally get that
I am in EXACTLY the same boat.
I just tell myself "I am enough". People don't understand but my sobriety is more important than making other people comfortable. Anyone worth having in your life will understand. Sometimes it takes them a minute
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What is the UU church?
Check out that link to get a feel for what UU is all about. We are not into unfounded metaphysical beliefs (eg Jesus). We are focused on service in the present.
Ok thank you
So glad to find another UU in recovery!