Going to the hospital. Really not wanting to hustle to get rent paid early. Because I will be their for a week. I hope the nurse working isn't the usually bimbo. Because I will go off. All I know is I am going to windHz up hurting myself or others. Risky behavior has led to more guilt and shame. I don't hear from any family. I just know sooner or later my youngest sister is going to need me. I can't hurt someone else. Uhhg. I don't know why. I really trully hate myself. Well I have to go. My wound from my motorcycle accident also got infected my whole leg is swollen. Again. Hope e everyone stays chill. If I do t pick up than anyone can stay sober.
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Stay strong bro 
I'm trying to pray and use understanding to stay away from resentments and strife ,they say that's the number one thing that leads to relapse ,hoping for a speedy recovery for you brother