Good morning all. Ok so here is what has me

Recovery
#1

Good morning all. Ok so here is what has me worried today. Need some feedback please. I celebrated 26 months yesterday. Most of my family don’t understand how had recovery is. I haven’t seen many of them in 2 years. Today got a text for Christmas dinner next Sunday at nephews house. That was one house I haven’t been to because of the amount of alcohol always on the counter. My husband responded that we would let him know in a couple of days. I feel so pressured to say yes not to get family mad at me. Plus suffering with long Covid on top of my recovery I am afraid to be around them too because they think it’s all a joke (Covid, vaccines etc) none are vaccinated. Do I go and just stay for awhile, do I not go and just deal with the attitudes. Any suggestions would be great. I haven’t been around a lot of people drinking for a long time. Sometimes it still bothers me if my husband has a drink when we are out.

I hate hate hate this nasty disease, so mad at myself.

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#2

My opinion… do what you are comfortable with. To he!l with what others think. You are what’s important.

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#3

I always do that. Just feeling really guilty today.

#4

Don’t. You have the right to protect yourself in every thing you do!

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#5

Nancy I agree. You can make Your visit if and how you want. My brother just moved back from another state and he drinks and is arrogant etc. I encourage you to share this and learn the value of creating your own boundaries.

Usually if anyone objects that a strong indication the boundary was necessary in the first place. And it will serve you very well in many other settings and circumstances too.

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#6

I have been really good setting my boundaries for over 2 years. I am already in a panic and will also discuss with my recovery team but I probably just won’t go. Just afraid of major temptations. This is awful. :scream::sob:. So down today

#7

PS. You already feel frustrated but aiming anger at yourself is like pouring salt in a wound. Go to a movie, a walk, take a nap, or home. Three days visit, three hours, three minutes visit is your call. You could be on the way to another function and you nephew just happens to be on the same road. But on other side of the road. Keep your side and they will respect it (or not) in due time.

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#8

Get in touch if you’re inclined. I’m also retired and late coming to AA. I have struggled with this also. Family doesn’t get it right away but they might care a lot. Take what you need and leave the rest.

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#9

Do what you need to do for yourself.. if they think your dresses is a joke and don’t respect you and your recovery then you don’t need to be around them .. don’t be around anyone who doesn’t respect what you’re doing..!!

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#10

Go and be the shining light. Let your success rule. If you become uncomfortable just roll.

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#11

Take it all to your higher power.

#12

If it's causing you this much stress even though you have significant sober time, maybe it isn't worth it and the stress its causing you isn't either? Maybe let your nephew and family know you aren't quite ready for that yet, and maybe make an effort to do some individual visits to family members if that's possible?

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#13

Here’s what I alway do in situations like this. Say that you already have plans for that evening but will stop by. Stay an hour and go home afterwards. Your sobriety is the most important thing in your life. Don’t let anyone take that away.

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#14

If I were yu I would jus go. Your sobriety might inspire someone in your family. Yu can only control yu. Yu kno that.
Go have fun n observe.

#15

I would not go. Sobriety first.

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#16

I think I already decided not to go. Just not comfortable to watch them all drink. I am going to personally call my nephew and explain why. Tired of comments that get back to me from other family members because I don’t care but I need to protect myself. I just found out I won’t be with my only daughter Christmas Day so I already am not in a good place. Just heartbroken right now too. :pray::pray::heart:

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#17

A lot of home groups do extra meetings for the holidays. I’m not with my girls this year for Christmas and that’s where I’ll be.

#18

I will probably do zoom. I don’t have a home group yet. But I have several friends in the meetings that I can contact too. First Christmas without my only daughter just sucks.

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#19

This isn’t my first time, but it’s always hard.