I am so grateful for my family, even though they are so far away. I love having the ability to love and be loved so unconditionally. Don’t get me wrong, we have never been perfect. Addiction runs in my family like rivers run to the ocean. Thankfully, that breeds understanding and tough love. Empathy as well as accountability.
I’m the oldest child/daughter/grandchild and that weight can sometimes feel like a burden, but it’s also a blessing in so many ways. The burden of example and responsibility, the understanding that if something happens to my parents-it’s me. My siblings have me. On the days that doing it for myself isn’t enough, doing it for them is. I wasted so many years, numbing/blaming and I’m so ready to cut the BS and be who they need, who I need.
Sometimes, doing it for yourself is something you have to learn along the way, and I know I’ll get there.
