I can't remember vividly how much I detested life. It just seemed like it was cruel to continue existing. But I had nothing worth living for... I was miserable and strung out. Now today I wake up with a grateful heart every morning. Not just because I got sober but because I have dedicated so much of my energy and time into loving life again. Whatever it took whatever it looked like I was going to do it. And here I am loving life again. And for that I am so grateful 
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This is a very special post.
You mean a lot to your child ( ren ) . Keep your head up and people don’t know your story and what you are going through.
Stay strong.