I'm alive. So to make a long story short. 2/23/24. I stop taking my depression meds. I called them into the pharmacy but they weren't ready. The money I had a spent every penny. Not thinking I wouldn't be able to borrow from someone to get my meds. I got the loan and I spent that on booze. Sunday totally drunk calling family. Called into my job. Crying My auntie died. Was on Facebook boohooing. Monday came don't remember none of it. Tuesday came awake but the rumbling in my belly I was sick as a dog. I tend to not be able to eat or drink anything for days. My soon-to-be EX brought me cough syrup Alka-Seltzer for colds at least then work probiotics didn't work aspirin didn't work my stomach ache and ached and ate. To be smart about it couldn't take a s***. The prior week I had took in a lot of lemon and ginger and honey to try to lose some weight well it was revolting. Made it to work on Wednesday still no meds on board had to lay down on the floor in my office. Had to give myself an enema didn't work gave myself a suppository it didn't work try to drink some Panera green passion smoothie and do some soup with a light tuna sandwich. Didn't work. Tuesday was able to pick up my meds at least one of them took it I still was woozy legs were weak I was short of breath when I walked my heart rate was racing my blood pressure was low and my brain would not stop singing one of R. Kelly songs. I use my prayer cloths I laid on the left side of my body I prayed unto God. Thursday came much better. Thankful that I didn't kill myself I was thinking about slitting my throat slitting my wrist I had nothing to take as far as medicine unless I was going to die by ibuprofen which I'm allergic to. Friday came I didn't lose my job cuz I did call in. I'm happy about it still some weakness but I'm able to perform at my job. Saturday came stronger Sunday came stronger. I was actually able to go around my family house to participate in my great aunt memorial. Now it's early Monday morning of course I got my folders because I need to plan out my money and decide how I'm going to get things done and and I've done this several several times. But I always find something so simple as loneliness that makes me fall. I am grateful for today.
I am happy you are doing better 
. One day at a time. You got this.