Had almost 30 days and ended up drinking and came

Recovery
#1

Had almost 30 days and ended up drinking and came critically close to using. Makes me
Sick how nasty this disease is. Feel so guilty.

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#2

That’s what you need to remember, it’s a disease that we need to treat just like any other disease. Congrats on not using! I’ve had many day 1’s and am hopeful I’ve had my last. You just have to take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself.

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#3

Don’t beat yourself up. That fuels your addiction; not your recovery. I relapsed and went out for quite a while after 3.5 years sober. I came back by the grace of god and relapsed after a little over one month clean/ sober. It was a humbling experience and what I took from it is that I need to work harder at building my recovery foundation so that nothing or no one can shake my house of recovery. One day at time, you got this. As addicts & alcoholics, it is unnatural for us to NOT use so give yourself some forgiveness and grace. Give yourself the same forgiveness that you would give someone who you’re close to that slipped up while in recovery. Forgive, ride the wave, let go & work harder this time. Stay focused on what you can do for your recovery on THIS DAY. Not yesterday shoulda woulda coulda’s & not tomorrow’s fears of failing. You’re reaching out and telling on your disease and I think that is incredibly courageous. Not sure if you go to meetings but I highly recommend that you attend meetings, find a sponsor & work the 12 steps. That is where the freedom firm bondage of self and spiritual solutions come in. Drugs were but a symptom. You have layers to peel of yourself like an onion and you are not alone.