Had to kick an old friend out of the rehab

Recovery
#1

Had to kick an old friend out of the rehab facility I work for tonight. Was one of the closest guys to me when I went through it, always so solid, then when he left the program, he relapsed, and half a year later I'm telling him I'm glad to see him back and safe, and internally my hearts' breaking to see him in that shape. He did alright for a while, then came in wasted, and I'm put in a position where I have no choice but to follow policy and put him back on the street.

Seems like once a month now I have to make a hard choice with someone I consider a friend, and do my job properly without allowing my emotions or natural inclination towards grace interfering. Have to tell myself they made the choice, and contiunal grace is just enabling. And I can do it, and put it behind me. Tomorrow I'll play some music, and not feel great about it, but be ok.

Unsure if this makes me a good fit for the job, or a sociopath.

#2

I mean, somebody has to do it. Don't think protecting the other people in that rehab and their sobriety makes you a sociopath.

That's gotta be hard though. I used to work for a homeless shelter, and faced some similar decisions. But, those decisions go towards helping others and giving them a good environment to help them get back on their feet.

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#3

That’s tough man. Really sorry you have to be in that headspace. Remember our sobriety is our own. We can’t wish, hope, or force anyone into it. You have to do what’s best for you and sometimes it sucks. You are not a sociopath because of doing the next right thing. Keeping your job is that thing. We look out for each other and need to be willing to be there for those still caught in the grips of addiction, but you also need to be okay with yourself.

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#4

Thomas, it makes you a great fit for the job. A person who was not an addict would have done the same thing without the empathy you have. Ya dig? If anything it makes you a great friend, you would have lost respect for yourself if you had not kicked him out, we can not afford that. Also be mindful of the fact that his state was a threat to the sobriety of others, you were just acting the part of a sheepdog and that is noble!

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#5

Definitely does not make you a psychopath. They know the repercussions of their decisions, and you are simply doing your job, and from what you've shared, doing it well.

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#6

You're not a sociopath. You have a job to do; and others' recovery that needs to be respected. No single person is more important than the entire group.

I hate that you feel the way you do. You made the right one. One day your friend will realize you made the right choice, and you were being his friend.

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#7

Appreciate the support, to all of you. Something I knew on a purely intellectual level but it's still all a bit new to me, I feel like I'm barely out of recovery myself, and I don't want to be coming down too hard on people who may need help the most.