Today the morbits thoughts that my wife that i loved and my kids went to Canada.
I thought fixing my self coming to crossroads twenty days after not coming home would keep me safe from my self and abandonment. 19 months keepin my self in therapy and taking care of Adhd medication doing the best to be a better version of not using drugs behind my surgery and not telling my wife i wanted to play with my kids and i wanted to be able to help around the house was my depression and believing the lies i told my self. I wish i couldve told her that i was scared. Now I am alone but i fixed wgat i could and her choice to leave is hers not my sad feelings anymore. I miss them and my girls but i just show up if called on but i dont chase even i want to fix this but god has given me joy and peace and patience to build a new. But i show up with love by supporting were i can when asked. Thats best can do. But i do with love no hate no resentments.
