Determined to work on myself this week. I’m kind of in a slump/rut. I wanted to take the 8 weeks I have off of work for FMLA to concentrate on healing and getting some of my personal stuff organized, but I started falling into the trap of doing everything for everyone around me. So…I put a halt to that today. I told everyone I need a break this week. I’m so grateful for this time to just rest and get back to myself for a minute.
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Great job setting boundaries 
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It’s probably the hardest part of being sober, honestly. My personality always wants to say yes, when my heart wants to say no 
working on it though 
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…I am working on this, also-Vanessa.
No one ever really taught me how to put my own needs first.
So. In the middle of life, am learning to take better care of myself.
So glad that yes, you are drawing those boundaries!
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Yes, exactly! I was taught to help people and say yes my whole life, not realizing that by saying yes sometimes to people I was saying no to myself. Now in mid-life, I’m saying no more. It feels weird at times, but it’s worth it. We can do hard things!
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Yes I felt that way today time to reflect and see what's going on right now by counting your blessings you got this
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…THIS.
Relating, Vanessa.
Also.
I do not want to generalize…while often times, women deal with these realities…the whole saying “ no “ part.
Not that men do not.
We just receive soooo many “ be a good girl “ messages…from uh, like the moment we are born?!
Culture also plays roles, of course.
I was raised in the United States-while in, within a South Asian family and community.
My mom is different from many other women in / within that community-thankfully.
Meaning, she is N O T a people pleaser.
My dad is a total people pleaser.
His mom was like that, also.
They care too much about what other people think.
I am trying to UNlearn numerous messages and messaging.
It takes a while to change those ingrained messages!
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…and YES.
“We can do hard things”!
I am grateful that you shared what you have,
Vanessa.
A good reminder for me to carve out time for the self-care and keep the boundaries intact!
Yes!! All of this! I’m from a Hispanic family, and my mom was first generation born in the US, and very much a people pleaser (and also an alcoholic). I’m not trying to generalize either, but I so understand the cultural differences in my case for sure! Glad now at 45 years old, I’m getting the guts to use the full sentence,”No.” more often. And, I’m shocked at the majority of people saying,”Oh, okay.” And leaving it at that.
Thanks so much for your take, I love it!!
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Thanks Paul! And yes, very blessed. We all got this!
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Big smiles in this photo I love it
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Vanessa,
Thank you!
I appreciate your kind words.
It is refreshing hearing from you.
Yes.
The cultural factors DO make a difference.
So many examples, too many to list here?!
Well.
In-within the South Asian communities, high achievement is like a big, huge deal.
I know many who drink more than I did.
I knew it was a problem.
A problem which was getting worse and worse…and ruining, well…everything!
I have only seen one other South Asian…at an AA meeting, years ago.
( Other resources, avenues have helped me more than meetings )…while I was stunned to see her there.
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I hope that your Monday is going well, Vanessa.
I have decided to not “ accomplish “ anything else for the rest of this day.
Oh, wait.
I just realized that I did not accomplish much to begin with😁.
And that is o-kaaaay!
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Go Vanessa 
Have an amazing week sis!!!
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Thanks Steve, you too!
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I love this quote
"What other people think of me is none of my business!"
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Exactly! My mom used to tell me,”You worry way less about what other people think of you when you realize how seldom they do.”
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Jealous of the time off!
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Love your post too!
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I know, I’m already 3 weeks into FMLA, so I only have 5 more weeks off! Trying to enjoy every moment! lol
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