Im having a hard time, this time of year is hard, depressed with a partner who is in the same boat but is slipping. Im having a hard time, i miss my grandparents and my mom, theyve past a few years ago and i wish they were here
Im trying to be supportive, but its so hard
Have you considered doing some service work? I find that helping others (people I don't know) pulls me out of my head and quiets my depression. Simple kind gestures are a great start. Think of something you can do that will take you out of your comfort zone. It sounds scary or uncomfortable but facing these feelings helps build our self esteem and love for ourselves. I highly encourage you to try something different today. I'll be thinking of you Kari, God bless 
Do positive things that make you less depressed maybe
I agree with Patrick service work can be a good option also try doing a gratitude list everyday write down 5 things you are grateful for make sure they arw different everyday and your mind will switch to positive vibes
It makes it a lot harder when your partner is slipping. I’m in the same boat. Haven’t thought about using in over 2 years but I found myself fantasizing and romanticizing just one day of oblivion and feeling good, one day of no anxiety and sadness. The bigger picture and real truth is, if I did drink and get high, it would make me feel even worse, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it, I’d probably cry the whole time. I’m just trying to talk about how I’m feeling because that’s all I can do until these emotions fade and get less overwhelming. I hope you can sit with these hard things today, and tomorrow is better, sober.