Seems impossible at times
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I find sober dating fine. I don't mind if my date drinks but I won't. Dating itself is something I'm taking a break from because I don't feel like pursuing it right now however.
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Yes very much, but more so because it seems a lot of Addicts out there and very few emotionally healthy people who did the work to heal their trauma. Trying to protect my peace.
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Oh yeah. The sobriety isn't the issue on either side; it's like you said, the focusing on "self-advocacy and recovery" . When that comes up as a primary focus, the prospective partner usually interprets that as " selfishness". I've had it said to me ...that one was over quick. A caveat here : I'm an empath that attracts narcissists like flies to sh it so that might be more of the issue, but I definitely think your assertion is valid regardless. Good luck out there.
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Completely valid and definitely understandable!
Yes! This is exactly what I mean but I mightāve worded this post strangely. I personally donāt care if romantic interests or acquaintances drink, as long as they respect that Iām sober then Iām fine. My post was referring to the influx of people who arenāt actively taking steps to better themselves and because of it, it makes dating feel impossible.
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As someone recovering from narcissistic abuse Iāve never related closer to a comment. I sure hope there arenāt any narcissists present in your life at the moment. Iām still trying to get away from mine even after taking one to court. Best of luck to you as well, Iām just working on myself in the meantime. If something comes along, cool. If not, thatās fine too. Iām completely comfortable holding space with myself and tending to my needs to ensure Iām the best version of myself, for myself and few loved ones
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Totally! I hear you! A lot of people projecting onto others and they are not in their āselfā. Although Iāve been putting zero effort into trying, I tell myself it will happen organically when the universe feels it is time. The world is a really weird place right now. I find my own joy in the small things. Love to you girl! 
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2 narcissists 
ā¦ now I can smell them a mile away. Thank you life lessons
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So Iāve also experienced narcissists and I read something that resonated with me! ā¦. Itās not that we āattractā narcissists, itās that we accept them. That was an ah ha moment for me and when I started to learn about and implement boundaries.
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So much wisdom shared on this thread! Thank you all. 
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Thatās actually interesting, where did you read this from if you donāt mind me asking? Post escaping an abusive relationship with the covert type I began heavily researching narcissism. Iāve already had interest in psychology and trauma informed literature beforehand but experiencing covert abuse really inspired me to specifically investigate NPD.
The world is also a super weird place and it doesnāt seem like anyone is in a good position to date. Thatās why Iām just encouraging anyone and everyone to practice better self care. (Iām also a man by the way, LOL)
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I need to get, "I'm an empath that attracts narcissists like flies to sh it." tatted straight on my forehead. Maybe I already do 
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Hahaha sorry, the pic is so small, the glasses looked like eyelashes.
Canāt remember where I read that but if I look back the narcissist I dated, dated someone else afterwards and she got rid of him quick time. People who practice self respect and boundaries donāt put up with their manipulative tactics and see right through them - just as you and I would now! ā¦ having experienced it. They are app the same, same person in different bodies.
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Yes! I also researched the s**t out of NDP, that was my way out and to healing 
Youāre fine! The artist I commission portrait work from usually draws me with extended eyelashes because my lashes are kind of long, LOL. That aside I honestly just did more research into it! Amazon actually has a ton of good books on narcissism, but Iāve particularly invested in studying the covert type because it only took a month of dealing with a covert narcissistās abuse before I escaped. If it werenāt for me being exposed to the overt type and a knowledge seeker that actively researches stuff I wouldnāt have figured it out sooner. Itās scary how many kinds of narcissists are out there living among us
Yup! Tons! Itās the age of narcissistsā¦ they have one thing in commonā¦ they seek emotional reactions, their food, their supply. Good, bad, doesnāt matter, reactions they want. Once you remove any and all emotion they unknowingly expose themselves. I would watch YouTube videos for hours and hours from a narcissist victim who became an educator. Happy to be done with all that. I feel they are among us to test us. To choose ourselves and learn self love and compassion and self respect.
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Me too donāt mind if they drink, as long as the intention isnāt to get hammered
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For sure, or to make unwanted moves after drinking for sure.