Has anyone else had the experience were they relapse every 2 or 3 months? That seems to be the cycle I’m in. This time I was so sure I had this sobriety thing, but Sunday night I was unexpectedly around booze and I relapsed. If I keep up like this I will lose my family. I used to drink from sun up to sun down, so I have made massive progress, but I’m struggling to get long term sobriety. Just venting. And I would love to hear from someone who went through and broke a similar cycle.
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Are you going to meetings or any type of support group? What are you doing or not doing is what I would ask myself if I kept relapsing.
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Yes I go to all recovery meetings usually once, sometimes twice, a day during the week. I just started going back to church on Sundays. The only thing different this weekend was that I got into two really stressful fights with my mom that had my anxiety high all weekend. I still didn’t plan on drinking though, the opportunity arose and I completely acted right away on impulse. I’m starting to think I have a serious problem with impulsivity and I’m not sure how to fix that.
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I’m assuming you’re working the steps with a sponsor, how about a therapist to single out the impulsiveness
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I don’t have a sponsor, I don’t do AA, just all recovery… but I do wonder now if all recovery have sponsors. I see an addiction counselor once a week, and although he does tell me I can reach out to him, he hasn’t been responsive when I reach out to him about our appointments, so I’ve been hesitant about reaching out to him when I get an impulse.
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Yeah that’s not good if your counselor is not responding to you. I wouldn’t hesitate to change that counselor if possible. I’d also suggest a therapist to zero in on that impulsiveness. I’m not sure if other recovery groups use sponsorship but how about giving AA a try? They do have all women meetings if that makes you more comfortable
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I will look up some women’s AA meetings, thank you for the suggestion. I tried AA a long time ago, but maybe it’s worth another shot!
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I did the AA thing years ago and then I just didn’t get it(I thought what a waste of time). Now this time I talked to my pastor at church and he hooked me up with older guy that’s an alcoholic and ultimately my sponsor🤗. I attend AA meetings twice a week for 7 months and 5 days. I believe I am finally getting it. Sobriety is the bomb!
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And when I did get cravings I’d make a Mocktail (Cranberry Juice mixed with Ginger Beer or RedBull) I was mostly a beer drinker so I started drinking plain sparkling(carbonated) water from a can to get the beer fix.
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I totally get how your relapsing can be seasonal. When I would drink , it would get worse in the fall and especially in winter.
Days are shorter, it is getting colder, and I was just staying in and drinking. Even now it's still a challenge. But I'm really really trying to stay positive, mostly through friends/(sponsors) and therapy and keeping my mind and body as preoccupied as possible to stay away from drinking
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A few months was my average cycle also. I am involved in all recovery and some aa meetings. Do you talk to anyone from the meetings outside of them? People you can reach out to when the urges hit?
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Definitely
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I went through a vicious cycle doing this and next thing I knew, 15 yrs passed. I’ve come to find out through doing a little bit of work on myself that I had reservations. I hadn’t truly accepted that I was an alcoholic. I thought I did but I hadn’t. I had reservations like “if this comes up I will be able to just have one drink” or “I can drink while traveling with execs from work because they will judge me if I don’t”. None of this was true and this plus my inability to be honest with myself at the time kept me sick for a very long time. I never thought recovery was for me, it was for you, but not for me. I was going to be the one alcoholic that cracked the successful drinking code. I finally surrendered a just under a year ago because I wanted to die and was losing my mind. I never thought recovery would work for me but I am finally starting to see progress one day at a time albeit it’s a lot of work, but worth it. It’s a simple program for complicated people lol. I complicated it for most of my life because I just wasn’t ready yet and thought I could do it my way. I hope things get better for you!! Best of luck to you in your journey.
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Not a huge cycle like yours but I found out that you have to be kind to yourself. So you have figured out where your little bump is, tomorrow is a new day and can go back trying again. If meetings and talking on here helps than that’s great. I’m just starting my journey and tonight I had a glass and truthfully it wasn’t not what I wanted I found out I don’t miss it
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I relapse every other week I try to stop the drug then I find myself after cleaning my system I relapse
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this is what you are missing out on. You are holding your head under water
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Yes, I went through this exact pattern - 3 months then a relapse. It doesn’t help to beat yourself up, just keep moving forward with your program. My sponsor and I figured out I had a step 3 problem. I had to deeply engage in my recovery. As the changes became more meaningful, it gave me the inspiration I needed. I now have seven and a half years…built up one day at a time! You can do this!
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BTW, I went through four cycles of this, so the first year was really hard.
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I went through this as well. A few months sober then go out for one or two at a time. Like someone mentioned already. A look into myself revealed that I still had reservations and would look for excuses to drink. Last time around I almost had 3 years sober. I got too comfortable stopped attending meeting and working the steps. Then I thought I could have one beer. Soon it turned into two then 3 and so on. I landed myself into trouble and currently in a program with The Salvation Army. I didn’t want to be here but while here I’m discovering spirituality and a deeper connection to my higher power and a better understanding of the steps. All this and removing all reservations is working for me and just hit my 6 month mark today. I hope this helps and good luck on your journey.
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The NA basic text say we often times attempt to get clean for no other reason then to try to relieve the pain. I found that to be true for me. Don't get me wrong that was enough to get IN the rooms but not enough to stay. I had to take an inventory of myself and find out what my true self goals were both long term and short term and then make a commitment to myself to do what had to be done long term
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