Has anyone stayed sober without being in the 12 step program or going to AA/NA ? I did an IOP a year ago & have stayed sober since I haven’t found a meeting I liked or that clicks for me but I’m still open to it.
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Not long term. Been at this since early 80’s and have yet to meet a person with multiple long term years who wasn’t using a program. I’ve met people who have multiple years sober who weren’t actual addicts. Yet, never an addict with long term without using a program. The programs are just guides to living a new life and growing in life. Not a requirement. I just personally haven’t seen someone with like 10+ years who did it on their own and was an addict. Not saying it can’t be done. Just saying I’ve never seen it.
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Doesnt last but there are ways to do the steps without labeling yourself... It's JUST a word
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What I’ve learned about myself is that when I let my guard down, or think I have it “under control” that’s when I relapse. So I really think staying involved with your very own program in one way or another, every day is key. That’s my plan this time around.
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Honestly, I have so many issues with the structure of AA/NA, so I get the frustration. Some people have recommended SMART to me since it’s more evidence-based. Might be something to look into?
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I am currently working my own program, the steps, volunteering etc. Generally speaking it doesn’t work. I have a master’s in psychology and substance abuse however and gave counseled others. I do have friends in the program which makes a difference. I am working the steps and read my big book, Hazelton, etc daily. Give the program another try. For most it works!
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Yeah I will research that! I just got over hearing everyone’s “stories” it was depressing to me and wasn’t helping and my sponser would make me talk to new ppl and it felt so forced like fake help. Thank you for being honest!! 
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Aa 1986
Not me
Whatever program you develop you should work‘something’. I could not stay sober without some type of daily routine.
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Why do you say they’re not addicts if they struggle with substance dependency and there are many who get spontaneous sobriety and most people don’t get sober through programs in does it have to be to a certain degree what do you consider a “true” adict?
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To each their own. I never did anything other than this app for the community aspect. It's worked for me, but some people need that accountability, while others can do it on their own. For me, it was a moment of clarity and self reflection. Didn't need a higher power to belive in, just needed to belive in myself for a change
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If you believe in the first part of the first step, I mean to truly believe it, you can stay sober. It says we are "powerless" over alcohol, drugs, use any word you want. If you're powerless, you have NO CHOICE!!! As long as you wake up every day knowing you haven't got a choice to use, and make it Gospel, you won't use. But that's just a start. You need to work on yourself, and come to terms with the underlying "issues" that you drink and drug over....Also try saying the 3rd Step prayer every morning. I still go to a few zoom meetings, but only a select few. So yes, you can get and stay sober without going to lots of meetings. But you need to do spiritual work too. Without spiritual work, your soul is dead/empty, and as a result, you walk thru life like a Zombie.
Hope this helps you Violet
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I did it for 10yrs. However, it only took 1 major life event to show that I had no real coping mechanisms in place. That crucial mistake cost me another 8 yrs in active addiction.
Ditto. Same here. I’ve had multiple years clean and have always come back to meetings. This time around I’m not taking any chances. I know it works. Has before. It sucks KNOWING what works and taking our will back. Always ends up with a bottle in your neck or a spike in the arm as they say. Getting plugged in to something greater than yourself is the only way for me. To each their own. Just don’t pick up and living will follow.
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I agree!! It depends on your needs. We are all individuals here. So, not everything works for everyone.
What is your definition of sobriety? I maintained a sober existence for over 30 years. Then one evening I threw it all away. I don’t remember much about that evening. I don’t. Lost my husband, my children and my family slowly over time. I don’t want that for anyone else. Take what you need from a program and leave the rest. But be honest with yourself and your support system. It is so very important to do that. Now that I look back at all of those years I was physically sober. However, I wasn’t healthy mentally. The damage that I did to myself over those years is proving to be difficult to un-learn today at my age now.
I guess what I’m saying is that it doesn’t matter what label you put on it..
We don’t care either. Just stay around here. Hang out. Bc when u hide who you truly are… it creates other obstacles over time that can start out as speed bumps and grow into a huge wall. Gosh idk if any of this makes sense.
Just keep with us. The greatest help I’ve found has been here. With people that know what I’m going thru. Feels so good. Saves you and you don’t really realize it right away.
We r here. Love u and proud of you for even asking that question. Let us help.
Marsha
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Yes I believe one you stay sober without AA as long as you work on your coping skills every day. It’s like staying in shape, but in this case not physically but mentally.
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I am over 2 years sober and do not attend AA. I do however believe in the beginning, 90 in 90 is crucial, at least for me. I feel if I depend on a program to stay sober and not myself, it can be taken away from me.
@jenn122709 is the queen of knowing of programs that are NOT AA if you are interested in other options! There are so many different ways to get and stay sober now 
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It depends on the degree of your sickness. If you’re a fiend like me, and cannot stop once you start, you need a support group of fellow addicts in a fellowship that is physically there for you.