I’ll have to see if that’s on Audible. I listen to book at night while trying to sleep sometimes. 
Yes, I believe it is on Audible.
Give it a listen. It really resonated with me.
Going to meetings triggers me because I’m constantly talking about it, it’s weird
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I relapsed after almost a year and I fully believe it was because I had no supports in place for when I got the craving or sh*t hit the fan. I know someone who had 12 years without a program but he was sitting in rehab with me after a terrible relapse. Not saying it’s not possible but when things aren’t so great it’s good to have a support system that understands.
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What part? I lived in Manhattan Beach for 2 years, and San Francisco for 5, back in the 80's. I'll be 62 next month, and have been in and out of recovery since 1989. I don't look or act my age. 
I go to meetings when I feel
Like I need to keep myself on track but I honestly haven't had cravings and am around 100 days sober. I have just watched people give up the joys of everyday life for meetings and meals with members of groups and trying to save everyone else. I am not trying to be insensitive but I guess we are all different and I could want a drink tomorrow. That's when o go to meetings asap. Rehab saved me and I want to live my life with purpose and authenticity without putting Poison in my
Body.
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I have had several long term periods of recovery over the years. I am an outlier. Anything organized makes me crazy. I am currently working a program pretty much on my own. But and a big but….I have a masters in clinical psychology and substance abuse. Most of my clients were part of a program to be successful. I do have a handful that have done it on their own for years on end. Their key to success is having a solid relationship with a higher power and a group of supportive friends in recovery that are part of a program. Recovery is not one size fits all. This way is my way. Organized programs will take me out. Be very careful. Stay connected here and try some zoom meetings. They are very helpful for me as well. Reach out to me anytime. Happy to chat. Stay sober and know you are a miracle in progress!
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Thank you so much, I’m exactly the same way! I cannot do organized anything! But I feel for me that is exactly what I will do is just keep on looking for the right group of “my ppl” and worship God, I do love church I go at night when I can & that helps me a lot. One size is not fits all is right! 
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Good morning. Violet! I really feel for you. I get it. I tried unsuccessfully for literally years going to meetings, sponsors, etc and would get so frustrated and relapse. It was like trying to put a round peg in a square hole and I would relapse. A Higher Power and Church are the best! And if you can somehow find a few friends in recovery that you can talk with everyday that helps as well. Try the zoom meetings to. They don’t make me crazy as it is not so confining for me at least. I also study the Big book on my own as I have plenty of notes from prevous experiences. Be happy to study with you at some point if you like. We could do over the phone. Sounds like you are putting a plan together. Make one and stick to it EVERY day. I have a stringent routine. If I don’t stick to it, it signals me a relapse is eminent and I adjust. You are a miracle in progress. Good bless. I am on here a lot. Reach out anytime. Happy Friday! 
Good Morning! I heard a quote one time and it was about learning it was like, a fish swims a bear climbs and you can’t ask them to do the opposite. Because everyone is different! I would love to connect, viofrench143@gmail.com is my email if you ever would want to chat, & I added you on here too 
thank you for the advice it really helped me to feel that it’s okay to be different
I will Email you in a bit! Going through my routine. Don’t want to be first in line for two bottles of wine! Lol. We we talk soon. Have a wonderful morning.
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I have tried self recovery for over 30 years, I’ve fucked it up every time. I’m 8 days sober now but this time I’m going to AA, found a sponsor, and am working on getting my spiritual life back on track.
The amount of effort you put into it will show in your results. I wish you the best of luck. If you ever want someone to talk to I’m always willing to lend and ear to a fellow sufferer of this disease.