Hate feeling this way. Disappointment and disgust in myself for having another night of drinking.
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We have a disease Roxy and many of us stumble. Don't be too hard on yourself. For me when I relapsed I journaled about how I felt and why I never wanted to drink again. It was helpful in processing my emotions and a good reminder to read when I felt tempted to drink again. Know you are not alone and there are many recovery programs out there ready to welcome you with open arms 
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