Have to stay vigilant. I don’t think about alcohol the way I used to in certain ways nor do I want to drink but I will say out of nowhere the last couple of days I’ve thought I wish I was normal and didn’t have this problem. I saw a girl on a dating site who said she likes to work hard play hard and I’m thinking that used to be me but not anymore. There are people that drink normally. There are those who even get drink to get drunk sometimes but don’t let it affect their life negatively or let it consume them.. then there’s me who when drinking will drink all day everyday alone or with people and drink everytime to get drunk. Even if I were to spread it out and not drink as much or as often it would only be a matter of time where I’m right back where I started. I’d be letting a lot of people down but mainly myself. Sober almost 9 months today I need to work on acceptance of who I am and where I’m at. I have a lot of work to do if I want to continue being sober. I just needed to write this out as a reminder and remember what would happen if I went back
