Hi all. I’m really struggling today. I’ve been trying to stick to sobriety but I’ve had multiple lapses over the past couple of months. I’ll get a few good days and then my mind will trick me into believing I can drink responsibly, but almost every time I do drink I get to the point of being fully drunk. I don’t know who to talk to about it anymore. Thanks for reading 
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I’m sorry you’re going through this and have been there myself many times. It helps me to “play the tape forward”—think about all the times I have given in and thought I could just have a glass or two and how awful I felt afterward. I hope you are able to find a strategy that works.
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I’m sorry you’re going through a tough time. Feel free to reach out if you need to talk. Take care
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I relapsed after 13 yrs, 3 deaths in family. I am the only survivor and my son. I moved to a neighboring state. Trying to get involved with AA. There’s something comforting about alcohol but I know this is going nowhere. The diadem progressed cos I just drank beer. Then I tried Fireball which I didn’t even know was whiskey. I can’t live like this but addiction makes me think I need it..stuck in relapse right now.
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the disease progressed
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Stay strong!!!!!
Can you get to a meeting?
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Jolene, I would suggest going to an A.A. meeting. It worked for me. I never set out to get smashed. I just wanted to have a few drinks, maybe two or three. I found it never worked out that way. I seemed to always overshoot my target. I went to AA meetings, got a big book and read the stories in the back as suggested. I identified with almost all of them one way or another. Then I decided to take other suggestions. It has given me a life like none I could have imagined. I am forever grateful for the program.
Hope that helps.
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Hang in there. Get to some meetings, chat with people who understand. It’s not easy. Little by little. I always wonder if I can have one or two and be ok. Its been 4 years. I tried that before, I remember where it ended. All I can do is say I won’t have a drink today and see what I have gained from it. Sometimes it feels like not much, but that’s the mind playing tricks. Its also not easy when you’re the only one not drinking. Get some support at meetings. It helps!
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Totally understand - I'm having a tough day too. It took me five years to get 90 days, but now it's been over three years. The only thing I did right was not giving up and not being too proud to raise my hand and say I messed up. People used to shake their heads at me when I said my day count. I kept coming and I got lucky. It is a progressive disease, but the solution is progressive too. Don't give up Jolene!
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You’re ok Jolene. It’s all part of the process. Be kind to yourself and just remember to breathe. Your comeback is right on the horizon🙏🏻
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Being honest with yourself about your ability or inability to control alcohol is a step in the right direction.
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Unfortunately, alcohol is something that alcoholics cannot moderate. That's what makes us alcoholics. Id go to ER, detox and come home and drink within days, always thinking I can just drink on weekends, or socially, or only beer...I'm sure you've done the same. It took me so many failures to understand abstinence was my only route, and as soon as I made the decision to not have a relationship with alcohol my head became more clear.
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Just remember being an alcoholic the natural thing for us to do is drink and typically lie about it. You’re creating accountability for yourself by reaching out with honesty and seeking help. Be proud of the fact you’re willing to look at it, that’s a gift many alcoholics never possess
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The fact that your seeking help shows your still fighting. Keep your head up and receive your blessings
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Just dropping in to let you know that I believe in you! This community is here for you to reassure and guide you into the arms of care and love. I love the suggestions above and I am also here to talk if you’d like 🫶🏻✨
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Relapse sucks. Hang in there. You got this!!
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Have you tried to reach out to a peer support specialist?
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Just wanted to drop a line and offer support. Like others have said, the fact thar you're internally grappling with the issue is a step in the right direction, and coming to that realization that something is off is half of the battle. Proud of you.
Many good suggestions in here. Anything involving connecting with other people who have also asked themselves the same questions you are is going to be a positive and helpful experience. The easiest place to find someone like that is at a meeting, AA, Smart, Refuge, or whatever. AA works for me, but might not for you. Throw the kitchen sink at the problem and you will find what you need.
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I have been where you are more than once. I now know that I can not drink in safety. Each time I would drink the consequences got worse. As my disease progressed I turned into a falling down drunk. It takes me about 10 days afterward to feel like myself again. I have lost jobs and threatened my career all because of my alcoholism. When I drink I am farther away from God. I need to remember Step 1. Without step one and God I will not make it and this disease will kill me. Hang in there and keep talking.
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The struggle is real. The internal battle is real. We tend to play mind games with ourselves, that it can be different this time. It never is different. I’ve falling into that trap many times. You got this!! You can do it!! Stay strong and keep reaching out for help.